Time is Mine For the Molding

“Sometimes, when I’m around people, I still feel lonely.” -Ella, age six

She curls up on the couch and speaks the words that are quoted above. I go over to her, kneel down, and begin to rub her back. “Tell me about it?” I listen as she moves and sits up and a light shines in her eyes. “I just want to go on a date with you. When can we go on a date?” Oh yes, the date I promised her we’d go on, the date I forgot about, the date I need to mark down so it’s set. Her love language is quality time, and when I’m not giving that time to her, she feels lonely and lost and sad. I tell her I will talk to daddy about a good night to go out. She smiles.

I’ve got to make time for that date.

But there’s the writing, and the contributing, and the conference, and the books, and the commitments, and…

This is not life. Life is full when children are taken on dates, and families spend Saturdays together, and books are read, slowly, and food is made for the hurting, adventures are embarked upon, and laundry is folded with little hands who need to learn. I choose this.

Time is mine for the molding. I choose.

I choose whether or not to sit with my children over breakfast and read to them.

I choose whether or not to gather my children in blankets and read.

I choose whether or not to turn off the T.V.

I choose whether or not to play cards with my son, or draw with my daughter, or read book after book with my littlest one.

I choose whether or not to go to bed early with my husband.

I choose whether or not to use my timely wisely when it comes to writing and planning and traveling.

I choose. The time is mine to use.

I choose dating.

What will you choose today?

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  • AshlieWrites

    This confirms yet again what the Lord has been pressing into my heart. I love to write, blog, and have dreams tucked away involving ministry in those ways. But more than that, I am called to the ministry of a wife and momma. Lately the Lord has been asking me to lay those things aside and focus on what really matters – and that is the souls of my sweet babies and being a helpmeet to my hubby. The tradeoff is priceless.

    The other day I read Psalm 127 “Unless the Lord builds the house….”. It has been my verse for my blog. However, I failed to really drink in the next parts of the verse….how my plans, no matter how hard I work, are in vain and actually take away true rest from my home. I haven’t been experiencing that rest because my mind is in a million directions trying to juggle. And, my children are my sweet heritage – everything else is secondary. 

    Something I know but haven’t always lived out. Keeping up with writing, though I love, it has caused lost sleep and stress as I’ve felt torn between two lives, so to speak. Trying to meet commitments, write a certain amount of posts, maintain my walk with the Lord…be a good wife and mommy. Not easy ;)

    What you wrote today – it echoes what’s in my heart. Just had to share. :) I believe the Lord DOES have a place for writing, dreams, etc in my life….but only as He builds the house, not me. 

    Blessings to you!  Ella is precious and I agree with her, dates are the best! 

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      That verse is the verse I’ve held on to from the beginning! It’s so true. Thank you for sharing!

  • http://www.sonyamacdesigns.com/ sonyamacdesigns

    and you know Sarah … this Dating does not end with the single digits as many would think … yesterday, I mentioned to my almost 13 year old son, that I thought of him … while we were away one from the other … and his face just glowed, then came the HUG … then came a special date with the 15 year old daughter … all in one day … yes 
    Time is mine ours for the molding but then our FATHER works in units of time!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Yes, I’m clinging to Him to fill the gaps and help this mama get out of her selfish skin! I love the idea of dates when my babes are older! 

  • http://www.lessonsfromivy.com/ KM Logan

    I was thinking about something similar as I did my devotions this morning.  Trying to list the true needs of my family.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      That’s a great thing to do – I think I’m going to do that!

  • http://www.ramblingsofamommy-sahm.blogspot.com/ Jessica

    This is such a great(and convicting!) post. I’ve been really struggling this week with selfishness, I just want to let the tv baby sit my kids all day while I do other things. Thank you for the reminder. :)

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Such a temptation! I know!

  • http://www.sattvicfamily.net/ Elizabeth

    Thank you for this!! I myself know I need to take more time for my daughter and I to just be together, and also for my husband and I to one day get a day night. You are right, it is a choice, and something that we must prioritize. We actually plan on ( hopefully!!) living a simpler life, getting rid of the ipad and some extra things and moving to a small farm in the Highlands. It’s our dream and hopefully when we are there, in the wilderness, I will learn to be a better homemaker and can put my kids above work. It’s for me, the electronics that get me. I feel like I ‘must’ be online, that I must write a post or check my email or tweet. And I really struggle with homemaking, as I was never taught to do it. So I therefore avoid it lol. 

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Oh man, I would love to be on a plot of land where my babes could run free. I pray that someday that will be true. 

  • http://staceydaze.blogspot.com/ Stacey

    I’m learning that it all comes down to choice. Great post.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Thanks, Stacey, it’s really true.

  • http://guidinglighths.com/ Dawn @ Guiding Light

    Thank you for this!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      You’re welcome! :)

  • Beth

    How very very true!  If you don’t purposely make time for family–little ones, hubby–then time will slip away and you will have missed opportunities.  Opportunities to make memories, laugh, teach, & mold.

    God gave us husbands and children as an inheritance to love and cherish!  Let us never forget this!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I pray that it would be seared on my heart and conviction would run deep if I stray.

  • Schneiderpeeps

    This is so very true!  My children are (almost)18, 16, 14, 12, 10 and (almost)3.  We have really good relationships with our teenagers and I was talking with my SIL  who only has toddlers about parenting teenagers.  I told her the best thing we did was include our children in our lives when they were little and it was hard.  Now we reap the rewards of teenagers who like to hang out with us – even inviting their friends for Friday night movie and homemade pizza.  Thanks for the reminder.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Love this! This is what I want!

  • Teresa Potter

    Thank you for this.

    One of my goals for this week was to spend half an hour with my toddler just playing, he and I, with no other distractions. This can be hard because 1) I have so much to do around the house and 2) His attention span is super super short, but it has already made me feel so much closer to him. 

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      It’s all getting in his psyche! Keep at it, mama!

  • Harmony T.

    AWW this is what I needed to hear today. I’m going back to school for my masters, two kids, a hubby, and a full time job sometimes I wonder if I’m giving enough to those in my life. Thank you for reminding me that it is MY Choice how to spend the time given to me.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Oh yes, choose wisely, my friend! It’s tough!

  • Sharon O

    Life is all about choice and sometimes we choose things that won’t really matter in the long ‘term’.  I love the fact that she could tell you with her words, she wanted time with you.
    That is powerful. 

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I can tell when she needs me, she gets very quiet, and is way more emotional. When I see that, I know I haven’t been giving her enough time.

  • Kristy K

    Another beautiful post as usual Sarah Mae. I was in the same boat…. do I continue to try to do what I want (what energizes me) or what my little ones and my husband need? I chose the latter (mostly, though I still struggle). My youngest goes to kindergarten in the fall and I know I’ll have more time to pursue  my things then. But for now… it’s time to snuggle :).

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Oh yes, snuggle, snuggle, and read, read, read! 

  • christic

    Confirmation!!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      WOOT!

  • http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com/ Dionna

    Such a blatantly true post. We can blame a lot of things but we make the choices.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I remember feeling depressed and I like I was such a failure, but then it was like, I can choose to overcome. I can choose to own my time. I’m choosing.

  • http://twitter.com/SeekingGrace316 Missy

    This is something that I have been continually working on the last year. To let the dishes go unwashed in the sink so that I can play a game with my children. 

    In fact, the Lord is helping us by moving us to a smaller home; one where there is less time needed for cleaning and maintenance and there will be more time for choosing dates. 

  • me.burke

    You always write things that encourage me to do the right things.  Thank you.

  • Debbie Simler-Goff

    Powerful post Sarah Mae!

    My children are grown and I have eleven grandchildren but your post is timeless reminder not just for mothers with young children, but for busy grandmother’s too!

    Interestingly enough, I discovered your post through a link on my daughter’s FB wall. :)

    I think I shall check out your books.

    Congrats on making an impact with your writing. Have a great day!  

  • Rosann

    You had me at the picture and the quote, for I’ve seen and heard it all too often in my very own home.  Writing is my passion.  So is my family.  God too!  And running.   How do I balance it all?  It’s a daily question on my heart.  I want it all.  Is that a bad thing?  God reminds me daily that my children are only little for a season.  One day, I will wish I would have chosen better, if I don’t choose well this moment.  Sarah, get out of my head!  Haha!  It seems like ever post you write speaks directly to my personal journey.  Alright, time to unplug for the day and hang with my beautiful daughters.  :)

  • http://joycannis.wordpress.com/ Joy

    Powerful post, my friend.
    Thank you.

  • Lenorediviney

    I took Trinity (age 7) to Mirror Mirror on Sunday. I even let her get something out of those machines you put quarters in (and I almost never do that).  She loved it.

  • http://profiles.google.com/cassandra.dorman Cassandra D

    Ohhh…. Amen.  Needing this today… on a tear-filled Wednesday.  Isn’t that just it though?  You said it – “THIS is not life”.  The rush, the ‘work’, the ambitions we pursue, the goals we hang over our heads…   it isn’t the life that fulfills.  But it’s the very life culture tells us we should strive for. But yet, it is empty… I think because on many levels it is not eternal.  Sure, writing inspiring stuff is fantastic and we all need a little encouragement, don’t we.  But writing will always be there – our children – they won’t.  There will always be another goal, another task, another ambition.  There won’t always be a child, begging for a story, a date, or repeating, “Mama, come look at this… come look at this!”.  I’m right there with you… we choose.  (hug)  Cassandra @ http://www.theunpluggedfamily.com

  • http://yestheyareallours.com/ Elizabeth

    Excellent post!  I am taking the hint — turning off my computer and going to go spend time with my hubby NOW!

  • Jds4693

    This is so awesome!!!! Anyone who is a mother should read this NOW! Time slips by so soon and it can never be recaptured! Spend time with your children and your loved ones! Spend time to enjoy things around you and yourself! When it’s gone it’s gone forever! 
    Susan Smith 

  • Deborah Wallace

    I DID THAT WITH MY LITTLE BOY, YEARS AGO ! HE WORE A BOW TIE AND A SUIT JACKED AND DRESS PANTS. HE HELD MY CHAIR AND ORDERED FROM THE MENU. HE WAS LIKE A LITTLE MAN. IT WAS JUST HIM AND ME. IT WAS VERY SPECIAL. SOMETHING I WILL NEVER FORGET. MY HUSBAND DID THE SAME AND STILL DOES WITH OUR DAUGHTER.

  • http://twitter.com/LindseyMBell LindseyBell

    Such a great reminder. Thank you, Sarah:)

  • Mary Curry

    Sarah Mae, I’m late chiming in on this post but I just read it and it reminded me so much of something I was thinking yesterday.
    I can’t imagine how much more challenging it is to make that undivided time now than it was when my children were little. My only real temptation then was the time I wanted to read my books or write my books. Now there is so much competition for time from the internet.
    When I was at the playground with my girls, the only competition for my time was chatting with other mothers. I was watching a mom using her smartphone the other day and thinking of how much of a child’s time with mom is eaten up by other demands because mom is instantly available to the rest of the world via smartphone.

    I guess as you said, it’s all about making conscious choices of how to use the time.

  • http://lifetakesover.wordpress.com/ Nancy

    Beautiful post. Reminds me of that saying, “Children spell love, t-i-m-e.” Thanks for this bit of inspiration today.