Are Your Children Acting Crazy? Maybe They Need More Of You

I’m on the phone and she’s wrapping the kitchen floor mat around her body.

I walk into another room and she whines and screeches. She’s following me everywhere, whining all the way. She just wants me to stop and pay attention to her.

He is jumping on the couch and then exasperating his sister. He is banging the chair back and forth, and making all kinds of noise, and I’m about to go crazy and he’s pushing all my buttons.

He just needs me.

And than there is the oldest girl, the one who just looks at me with sad eyes that say, “I just need you.”

My babies, they need their mama.

And your babies, they need you.

Sometimes our children will act crazy to get our attention. They will disobey, they will push our buttons, they will test boundaries. They don’t need more discipline or harsh looks or “stop it!” from us. No, they need just us. They need us to put them before the phone conversation, the cleaning, the reading, the whatever. They just need us to smile, to bend down and hug, to laugh with, spend time with, and to just plain pay attention to them. Sometimes they just need us to say to our friend or important person on the phone, “I’m sorry, can I call you back, my children need me now.”

Our children, just like us, want to be known. They want to be respected. They want to know they matter more than anyone else, because they are ours.

If your babies are driving you crazy today, consider giving them more of you. Give them your full attention. Give them your arms to lean into. Give them your eyes and your smile. Make them feel like the most important people in the world.

Because they are, in this moment, they are.

Love, SM

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  • Theresa

     Thank you Sarah Mae. I really really needed this. I KNEW this, but sometimes….a lot of times I just need someone else to say it.
    Tomorrow is another day. Another day with my kids. Another day to try again. God willing, another day to be better.
    Thank you for the reminder.
    Blessings to you…..

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Blessings today to you my friend.

  • Traci Michele

    wow, good stuff here!  Thanks friend!  Love, Traci 
    http://www.ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Thanks for reading, Traci! 

  • Adrienne Falkena

    Fitting words after the harried and frustrating day I had yesterday. Thank you. Why is it so easy to forget this?!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Because we’re sinners. That’s why we forget. Every day. :)

  • 5 Olsons

    Beautiful and absolutely true! I could have used a post like this years ago :). My babies are 12 & 10 now. Thankfully the Lord gave me my third 5 years later and she is reaping the reward of wisdom gained from my “mess ups” on the other 2!
    Although it’s never too late….I’m taking these hard learned lessons and applying them to where my preteens are at now….they still need me ;)

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Yes, it’s never too late. Good for you for persevering! 

  • Alexis

    Ha!  I need this today…. I have been up since 5 with the baby and the toddler shortly after… by 7:30 I had already called my husband to say “hunny it’s gunna be a long one….”  All I wanted was a second to myself…. and all they want is me.  Lovely posting.  Thank you!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Oh, sweet friend, you are a good mama. Hang in there! :)

  • jhoge1945

    Sarah Mae…I think this post is a good reminder for young mommies to step back from all of the things that are pulling them away from their children and to really tune in to their needs and desires!  I loved this.  Of course, I am a 61 yr. old grandma to 11 grandkids ages 4-21…so I am not in that stage of life anymore.  But sometimes when they stay with grandma for a couple of days I do see that they really want all of my attention!  And I gladly give it to them.  (:>)

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Thank you for the admonishment. I love women like you who are willing to encourage us young mamas! THank you!!!!!

  • http://theletteraday.com/ amanda

    an encouraing word I needed to hear this morning … thank you.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      You’re welcome. :)

  • brenda

    And even when “bend down” is not necessary…but “looking them straight in they eye” is more the case…they still need us!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Yes!

  • Alissabeth

    Definitely fitting for me after my day yesterday. I wonder constantly what is wrong with my 4 year old and why is he behaving so awfully. This definitely made me think that the problem may be me and not him. It’s hard to juggle everything – twins, the 4 year old, LIFE. These sweet little miracles are way more important than so many other things…Thank you for reminding me  and posting at the right moment when I have a second to myself to soak it in!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Oh Alissabeth, I highly recommend you get your hands on “Seasons of a Mother’s Heart.” Helped me so much when my 4 year old was behaving awfully. I really do understand! 

  • http://mkjorgenson.blogspot.com/ MK Jorgenson

    *looks over shoulder* You must be spying on me somehow…

    So very needed today, this week, this month…thank you!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I am spying on you. Bwhahahahahahahaha! ;)

  • http://inquietmemory.blogspot.com/ Marleah

    I think my kids have been driving me crazy for the last week.  Thank you for this timely reminder that they just need me to give them some quality time.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Haha! Oh man, the crazy days certainly can make us crazy. But yes, more quality time. It’s amazing how that works (usually!).

  • Rosann

    Words so true!  :)  Although I must admit the days when my kids are at their worst, wanting my attention, are the days when it’s hardest to stop what I’m doing because I’m up against a deadline of some sort.  So not only are they whining and wanting my attention, but I’m stressed out and flustered because “I have to get this done!”  I suppose the question is, do I really have to get whatever it is done for a true deadline that others are depending on me to meet or is it my own self imposed deadline that really could be moved?   You always get me thinking, Sarah. 

    Blessings,
    ~Rosann

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Thanks, Rosann. And I just appreciate your voice here so very much. Thank you for being a loyal reader – hopefully we can meet someday! Allume?

      • Rosann

        Oh Sarah, that would be a dream come true to go to Allume and even enjoy a cup of coffee…er…tea with you.  :)  If only Allume offered a cool weekend kids day camp on site for those of us who struggle with the issue of childcare.  {oh wait…did I just sling an idea your way? Lol!}  I’m near Pittsburgh so getting to the conference wouldn’t necessarily be an issue, but child care would be.  My hubby wants to go to a conference in Florida for copywriting that exact same weekend.  What to do…what to do… :) 

        Honestly though, I subscribe to many blogs but only a handful really capture my attention when they land in my email each morning.  Yours is one of them.  I can always relate with what you write and truly appreciate your authenticity and writing style.  

  • Wani

    I’ve been trying to get this into my head lately.  Its so hard because when they are acting out I want to get away from them, not spend more time with them… you know?  But I’m working on it!  Thanks for sharing!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I know! When they act crazy you want to hide, or tell them to quit it, but they really just want us close; they want to know they matter to us. 

  • http://ellasmom505.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    Yes, so true. I have even noticed that instead of getting aggravated with them, that if I just stop and play with them for a little, that they will then go play happily on their own for awhile.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      So, so true!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=591861080 Crystal Michelle Sewell

    I really needed this encouragement this morning!  It is funny how I know this, yet struggle to put this in practice in the midst of those crazy moments. 

    SDG!

    Crystal <

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I think most of us struggle in the moment! You’re not alone! ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1792297354 Rochelle Alberti

    AMEN!!!!!

  • http://candelierious.blogspot.com Lis

    Great reminder!

  • Jennifer Reed

    Sarah Mae, I wish I could reach out and hug you. More than once, you have said words that I NEEDED to hear. That God needed me to hear. This echoes in my head and in my heart. I am constantly trying to figure out what am I doing wrong?? And it may be as simple (and yes, embarrassing) as not spending enough time with my babies. I love love love my babies. They are such God’s Gift. Thank you for your right words at the right time. At God’s Time.

  • http://www.sonyamacdesigns.com/ Sonyamacdesigns

    and being a teen does not mean they need us less … but they just need us in an even more intentional way … so get ready … as they grow the need factor grows … much to look forward to … in HIS grace.

  • Blessed Mama

    So true. I sometimes forget that as I move thru my day trying to do it all… cleaning, cooking, nursing, diapering, homeschooling, disciplining… with my 5 children…
    However, we do have one child, who, no matter how much (quantity & quality) of ourselves & time we give him, it is NEVER enough. His behavior & attitudes are often horrible at home and the more we wrap our arms around his shoulders in love and discipline and guidance, they more he digs in his heels. We are deliberately praising him when he does good things, wanting to encourage that…  (btw, he is 9)
    We are making diet changes (hoping that pulling out artificial ingredients will help his focus & self control). We are offering him decisions to make on his own. We are taking him to a Christian counselor. We are loving. We are praying.
    Any tips on handling THAT?
    Thanks for all you do, SarahMae!

    • Kathy

      Blessed Mama, give your son (and other children) something meaningful to do, some kind of project or job where he will feel as though he’s accomplished something and then brag about it when he does. Children want to feel good about themselves and feel needed, part of the family unit. When we go outside and work on a family project (gardening, building a chicken coop, etc) and give our children a job to help out with that, it’s 100 times more effective at making them happy than just telling them that they’re great “just because”. When my six year old is given a responsibility, and then we brag out loud about how hard he worked, what a great job he did, how it really helped us out, etc, you can almost see him walk a little taller. His look of satisfaction is priceless!

      • Blessed Mama

        Hi Kathy~
        We do that frequently… but this child prefers to focus on the fact that the other children are not doing the SAME  as him… BUT!   if he and the 11yo are given a project to complete together, he does bare-bones minimum and waits for her to complete it (she doesn’t like it, but is a just-do-it kinda of gal, so goes ahead and completes it so she can be done). When we catch him doing that, we dismiss her from the task & have him complete it on his own (hoping that he realizes teamwork is important & helps lighten everybody’s load).
        We’ve also never subscribed to the praise-them-just-because camp… Our praise is specific… “What a great big brother thing to do! Thank you for helping him put his shoes on this morning!”… sometimes that promotes his behavior for a while, but often it seems he thinks, “Oh, I’ve done my good deed for the day. I’m done now.”
        While I can see that things such as diet DO play a role… I am seeing more & more clearly that it is a heart issue at the core.
        After his 1st counseling session, he threw ‘fake’ fits… we heard an extra drama inside his whines & grumbling… we saw him trying to hide his smirks when he acted offended. Hubby takes him to the counselor & has witnessed him ‘playing’ the counselor… telling her things he ‘thinks’ she wants to hear… leaving out the details that would show her what she really needs to know. He is a shy child who often must be prodded to ‘speak when spoken to’, yet he nearly talked her ear off at the very 1st visit!
        Thank you :)

        • Karileeresto

           This really sounds like me! I started lying to the counselor too! Before I was abused I made up stuff about how hard they were on me and my mom yanked me out of the counselors office for fear I was going to say worse stuff. Then I began around the teen years being so aggressive that I grabbed a knife and tried to kill them. Some of it I can explain some of it I can’t. All I can say is that there is always hope and things can get better I will pray for you whenever I can think of you. I know you are going through a very tough time. I think in some cases I finally made my mom crazy and we don’t talk anymore cause of it. Been 6 years and I regret every bit of it. Some of it was her and her abusive choice in men. However, there was a part before 11 where life was good and I was doing this then before that. Keep going and doing what your doing and if you hear something that you think might work try it if it doesn’t then you can at least tell your child you tried everything which I think that is what you are doing now. God sees and he knows how hard you are trying. Have you ever thought about a possiblity of led toxins getting in his body causing this. They found a lot in me and it mixed with my brain chemistry. I was never supposedly near anything like old paint and such but some how I had it in me.

        • Jacki

          One more thing to consider, but this is only second-hand advice. We have friends with an 11year old boy who seemed determined to disrupt any dream of a peaceful family life from day one, always screaming, disrespectful, hiding instead of getting on the bus for school, etc. they were at their whits end when they decided to fast and pray as a couple for two weeks. At the end of the two weeks they asked their son if they could pray over him, and to their amazement he said yes. That boy has never been the same. Life isn’t perfect, but he has a beautiful peace about him now, he’s making friends, his nightmares have stopped, etc. in his case, this was spiritual, and fighting it in the Spirit was the only way to rescue him! My husband always tells me, “Don’t despair until you’ve exhausted ALL your resources”…namely, fasting. I don’t know if you’ll get this (it’s an older post) but if you do I pray it’s helpful!

    • Karileeresto

       Have you ever had him checked for autism spectrum disorders. I have aspergers syndrome and that is a type. I was tough for my mother (mind you I grew up in an abusive home and they abused me more cause they seemed to never realize I have this) and I mean tough. I dug my heals in more when she tried and I just became more aggressive. I know one of the problems is Autistic people tend not to be able to digest Gluten very well at all and dairy can be another problem. Those from what I know can change someone very quickly. Also I am in the process of getting rid of the metals in my body from using teflon pans and getting rid of margarine which is one molecule away from being plastic and shares 27 ingredients with paint. When I started doing those things the problems didn’t completely go away but they are getting better. I am 26 and married now by the grace of God I turned out alright. However, the road is very tough especially during the teen years. If you wish to discuss more of this you are welcome to email me karileeresto@yahoo.com.

      • Blessed Mama

        Karileeresto~
        We have not had him checked for that… It is my understanding that those on the autistic spectrum behave the same way no matter where they are (home, school, church, stores, etc)… However, my son only behaves this way at home. He may have had one time when his frustrations & anger showed at church, but that’s it.
        He is rather oral for a 9yo… we frequently find him with a toy or his fingers in his mouth… sometimes even while he is talking!
        He is shy, but not to the point it would concern me.
        He is very smart. Devours books, but struggles with writing and other things that require fine motor skills with his hands.
        When asked why he has not completed a task… such as brushing his teeth… ‘But she/he hasn’t brushed her/his teeth!!’ Trying to place blame on others, never willing to accept responsibility for himself. Lately he has been on a jag about the 4 yo not having the same type of chores as him…
        It’s exhausting!
        I’ll email you later about the diet thoughts!, Thank you!!

        • Karileeresto

           I would like to tell you that you just described me to a T! In fact, I was not diagnosed till I was 22 years old cause they thought the same thing it only happened at home. For the most part minus one incident in Kmart two weeks ago I don’t have them in public which is why no one believes me when I say I have aspergers. I have heard this story played out time and time again where doctors don’t think they have it cause it only happens at home. My husbands favorite line is why can’t this happen at church where people can actually see you be this way. Part of it is I have an IQ of 128 and the average is under 100 and I have been told that because of this my ability to calm myself is horrible partly because we compartmentalize our emotions then combust when we have had too much. I had some shyness you could say as a kid but had issues with reading and writing. Still do the use of commas, colons, spelling, you name it is a problem for me. I also pointed out my brothers chores were easier when he was 2 years younger then I. I honestly feel like I am reading something my mom would have wrote. This doesn’t mean autism has to be it I am just saying most people have been told this happens everywhere when that isn’t always the case your child may only be upset at home and it doesn’t have to be anyones fault. It just means sometimes something is bothering him like sound sensitivities or light sensitivities. Could also be schedule or some random thing you and I could never figure out. I am not an expert I will say that now and I am not a doctor just been to every councelor with my mother, every doctor, every therapist, every pastor, etc. trying to fix this and no one ever thought it was that. It is slowly getting better and if it is the motor skills influenced by autism you will know by 20 when all of a sudden it is like a cloud lifted from your childs brain and all of a sudden things just look much better and they act more regular and the learning it increases so much. I loved to read always have after 5th grade but I tuned the world out and it is like I lived in my own world in my head but had to abide by everyone elses rules that ticked me off during the day but managed to keep it inside and let it out at home what upset me. Do please email I have so much that can help and taking out gluten helps with ADD/ADHD, AUTISM, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY ATTACKS, ETC. The list goes on and on.I have seen it even help a DS friend.

        • Jen

          You just described my 11-year-old perfectly! He was diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was almost 5. He rarely ever acts out in public, but at home he lets it all out! As far as I can remember, he has NEVER taken responsibility for his actions – always someone else’s fault. Does your son have any “fixations” or something he is really into? My son was into construction and hot air balloons when he was little and now he is into old things (old typewriters, coins, books). He also loves to read and has been reading since he was very young. He put toys in his mouth until he was about nine and learned about germs and then he was terrified to put anything into his mouth (even silverware…).

          He has also always struggled with writing. We bought him a typewriter and that was the best thing we ever did! He is now writing paragraphs and stories galore!

          I’m not sure a typical counselor would be beneficial if your son is on the autistic spectrum. We found that “play therapy” really helped my son as well as occupational therapy. 

          It also helps to treat him like an adult…respect him in every way, not talk down to him or order him to do something. He responds much better to positive and calm words. The thing with autism is that the children will “mirror” whatever body language and tone of voice you use. If your voice is at all harsh or frustrated they pick up on it way more than any other person. They are attuned to negativity and feed off it…

          Feel free to e-mail me at jtammeling at gmail dot com

    • Andrea H

      Diet changes can indeed have a wonderful impact (all those artificial products!).  It sounds like you are being vigilant and persevering, I pray your efforts will be fruitful! 

  • Stephanie Faught

    Thanks for the reminder! Today is not about what “I want”, it’s about what the Lord wants!

  • http://www.ramblingsofamommy-sahm.blogspot.com/ Jessica

    Oh how I needed this today! Thanks for sharing!

  • http://www.facebook.com/leanneknight Leanne Knight

    LOVE this. Of course, kids act up because they are sinners, not because of what moms do. But still. I’m a big believer of the fact that all kids want is their parents, and it just makes such a huuuuge difference in their life to have their parents’ full attention.

  • Andrea H

    Wise words, Sarah Mae … it is no crime to spend time loving your children, although sometimes the epidemic of Me would make it seem so! 

  • Cassie Blakeslee

    So agree! Its easy to get caught up in the “busyness” of the day and forget what is really important :)

  • http://twitter.com/SprinklesInLife Rachel Shearer

    What is it about the phone that sends all kids into the little world of “crazy, wooly and wild” ? Hahaha. :)  My girls are now 9&7 years old and at this point in thier life, I find that they also need little lessons in manners and respect as well.  At this age they realize that if mama is on the phone, then it is a necessary call. They have learned to politely get my attention, without showing disrespect to the person I am talking to. Luckily, they are old enough to write little notes to me while I am on a phone call- this way I can determine what need they have and what I can do to help them at that moment.  To me, raising up my girls to be kind and aware of other’s needs is important too. They can learn this at home, by understanding that even mama needs a moment of quiet and understanding through out the day.  But yes, in those early years- sometimes it is just best, to hang up the phone and tickle them like crazy!! :)

  • Christina Alderfer

    Thanks for the encouragement today!

    As a recovering perfectionist, I wrestle with my mental to-do list every day. My kids “remind” me it’s okay to let my agenda take a backseat. How the Lord uses our children to refine us!

  • The Professor’s Wife

    Thanks for the reminder! Sometimes my children can handle themselves so well that when they suddenly can’t, I wonder what happened. We are doing our own things. They are completely enthralled in their play and I am happily distracted by a phone chat with a dearly missed friend as I fold laundry. Everyone is happy. Then… poof! Screaming and blaming and toys flying. I am shocked until I realize I have been on the phone with my friend for nearly an hour. Though I have gotten many things done around the house, I haven’t even spoken to my children for too long!  
    Yikes!

  • http://4ambassadorsofchrist.blogspot.com/ Jarmila V. Del Boccio

    Okay…you’ve got me…I’m going to hug my teens right now. Thanks for the reminder!
    MakingTheWriteConnections

  • http://www.jayteekayeee.blogspot.com/ CrazyKindofMom

    Oh how I needed to read this. I really hadn’t thought about why my oldest has been disobeying me lately, something that is really out of character for her to do this many times. We’ve had so much going on in our lives- deaths in the family, her daddy going to Haiti and FCAT- she is just overwhelmed. Thank you. I need to plan some alone “girl time” with my sweet first born to let her know how important she is to me. :)

  • http://twitter.com/SeekingGrace316 Missy

    Beautifully said. 
    I am working on getting rid of some of my other responsibilities that I have said yes to so I can say yes to my children more often. 

  • phoward336

    Such a great reminder.  My son often “acts out” or whines when he needs more attention.  I’ve found by stopping and giving him attention, his behavior improves dramatically.

  • Suziehomemaker94

    Thank you for this.  I needed to read this today, my sweet girl needed me to read this today.  My hubby is deployed and well…she has been driving me crazy.  Because she needs me, more now than ever.  God bless you, he is using your voice to reach many with His love and GRACE, especially in directing that to these precious little people that have been placed in our care.  Thanks again.

  • Grace2u

    So true, so true!

  • Amanda Vargas

    How did you know what I needed to hear today :)

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I live in your brain. ;)

  • http://www.rainydaysandmomdays.com/ Rheea

    Thank you for this reminder. It’s just so hard sometimes to stop what you’re doing, because so much needs to get done. But priorities…thanks again :)

  • Sarah Miller

    Oh my… after I put my 16-month-old to bed last night, I sat for a moment, alone with my tears.  It had been such a rough day.  I felt that he’d just NEEDED so much, and I hadn’t been able to get as much done as I felt I NEEDED to do….. but as I rocked him at night, I breathed in his baby-soft smell and cherished the rough-housing we’d enjoyed at the day’s end and then regretted the busyness that had reigned throughout the rest of it.  I knew that it would have been a better day if I’d stopped my chores and played with him a while.

    And then this came through my inbox this morning, reaffirming the conclusion I’d reached.  Thank you, internet friend.  Today, we had playtime and snuggles and books.  It was a MUCH better day.

  • http://coddledlittlelife.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    Oh my… after I put my 16-month-old to bed last night, I sat for a moment, alone with my tears.  It had been such a rough day.  I felt that he’d just NEEDED so much, and I hadn’t been able to get as much done as I felt I NEEDED to do….. but as I rocked him at night, I breathed in his baby-soft smell and cherished the rough-housing we’d enjoyed at the day’s end and then regretted the busyness that had reigned throughout the rest of it.  I knew that it would have been a better day if I’d stopped my chores and played with him a while.

    And then this came through my inbox this morning, reaffirming the conclusion I’d reached.  Thank you, internet friend.  Today, we had playtime and snuggles and books.  It was a MUCH better day.

  • G2short4life

    I love the picture you chose!  made made me smile. I think sometimes kids need discipline. To guide and direct them, and give them a consequence for their actions, so they start establishing right and wrong, However, if their outbursts are a result of lack of quality time, I wholeheartedly agree that more discipline will not help.  We as parents need a check point too, If we were on the phone all day, we can’t get annoyed with our kids for trying to get our attention. Our kids are our most important job. A gift from God. Could not feel more blessed, with my 2 , and one on the way. God is good.

  • http://passingitontoyou.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    There was a brilliant line from the (in)rl conference is echoed in this post, and it seems everywhere I turn – Wherever you are….be ALL there.

    I expirienced this exact situation last night – my 4 year old daughter was melting down at the hospital as we were visiting a new baby in our church family.  When we left and she continued to melt down i just picked her up, held her tight and told her how much I loved her….nothing but smiles and happiness followed!

  • Christi

    This definitely hits home…. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Janelle Allen

    Sarah Mae, thank you SO much for writing this post. Words that I needed to hear in a BIG way. My 2.5yo daughter is starting to get into the “testing” stage but really, this post made me realize that a lot of her acting crazy is more likely her trying to win my full attention! I need to step away from the computer/tv/phone and be. with. her. Especially when we only have ~13 weeks until her little brother arrives! This time is so important for her, but it’s important for me too. 

  • Happy Mama

    I came to you just now for the first time while visiting LifeYourWay.net.  There was a link to this post there.   You had me at hello because the title to your post really caught me.  This is brilliant… possibly the best possible parenting advice of all time and something I am in complete agreement with from tried and true experience.  My very sweet 7-year-old daughter gets downright belligerent if we don’t cuddle on a daily basis.  Read a fun little book, have a loving cuddle, be silly together.  Short and sweet.  She visibly blossoms before my eyes every time… and then goes on to be better behaved for the entire day.  It doesn’t take much and is so worth it.  We are more bonded and as a result I am better behaved, too!   =)   Some kids seem to demand attention more than others – my son (11) is seemingly less needy - but all kids deserve attention, affection and the spotlight from their parents and benefit from it.  I think of it as preventive maintenance because it wards off trouble and hassles.

  • http://altarofheaven.wordpress.com/ arcelia

    Yes–again God is using you to stir us on to love and good deeds. God has recently prompted me to take away some distractions so I can be present more and i must tell you i ENJOY my children. Of course today was a bit more challenging because we are on 16 hour road trip without Daddy. So it’s me, a six year old and a 4 year old enjoying the cross Country drive…they did ‘act silly’ when I got on the phone and when we got to the hotel room and I was tired and not abiding and resting in Jesus Christ…but then my 4-year old daughter whispers, “mommy I just prayed for you” and my heart melts…a moment I would have missed if I was not present. Thank you Sarah Mae lifting you and your family up in prayer as you grow in Him!

  • http://twitter.com/LindseyMBell LindseyBell

    LOVE this post. I seem to constantly need to remind myself that my kids matter MOST! 

  • http://www.ladydiarist.com/ Zhanna

    Gosh this hit home! Big time! I had to share it with everyone on Facebook. Because every mom needs to read this. There are times where children don’t need more discipline. They simply need to be loved. Im guilty of this. I find myself having a busy day where I barely look at my kids and then I start griping about how they are not letting me get things done, how they need to listen more and be more obedient. However, what they need is ME. Thank you for this!

  • http://www.artographybyinna.com/ Inna87shmig

    What a great post! 

  • salsachipgirl

    beautiful reminder!

  • http://www.indueseason.net skottydog

    Holy cow! I do believe you have our home under surveillance today! Thank you, Sarah. Needed this today, as I’m failing miserably at being Mr. Mom.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I hardly believe you’re failing! :)

  • THE Bombshell*

    I teach a private ballet class, my four children (ages 6, 5, 4, and 4) are in it. This week students were late, and I didn’t know if anyone was gonna show up.  I was tempted to just lock up and leave, go home and nap.  But I looked at my four children who were waiting to stretch and said “We’re gonna have class anyways.  You guys are just as important as the other students.” 

  • Jennifer

    Sarah Mae, Your blog is so much better nowadays than the Like a Warm Cup of Coffee days…the posts on this blog have inspired me, and touched me, and they feel real.  Thanks for sharing the real you, and your struggles and thoughts.  Can here for a lift to do what’s right, and you gave it to me. Closing down the computer now. :-)

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Thank you, Jennifer! I’m so glad I made the decision to take some time off blogging and then come back new. I feel inspired now. I appreciate you noticing. ;)

  • Tyrean Martinson

    Love, Love, Love this post! I completely agree, and I’m thankful for the reminder. My kids, although past the clinging age, need to have their hearts filled with love, and when they do, they are wonderful, compassionate, sweet young women. When they don’t feel loved and their needs aren’t met . . .then come the tween and teen pouts, eye rolls, and sulks. They are beautiful individual creations made by the Lord and it is my responsibility, honor, and priveledge to be their mom . . .which doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences for bad behavior, it just means I need to pay attention to the root of that . . .and it’s usually rooted in feeling unloved.

  • Annie

    Thank you. I needed that reminder today.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ashley.ditto.507 Ashley Ditto

    I really needed this today, thank you Sarah Mae!

  • http://www.facebook.com/LadyIsSeriouslyAmazing Lisa Jo Rodriguez

    This was meant for me to read.My 5 year old daughter has been acting out lately and I have been trying to find answers on why and I knew deep down she needed me to give her attention but my pride wouldn’t let me accept that as a reason. Reading this now I know this is God’s way of telling me to stop everything and focus on her. Thank you for sharing this.

  • Ande

    I just found your blog today. A friend linked your article about your two year old needing you. I read it and cried and cried. This could not have come at the MORE PERFECT TIME, fitting our current situation to a T. As I read more of your articles, I just related 110%. I never comment on blogs are this public and popular, or people I don’t know personally, but so many of your articles (particularly those about Caroline and these about just taking those “misbehaviors” as signals that our little ones NEED US) have just pierced my heart. I’ve repented and ask God to forgive me for being selfish, impatient, and too often showing a stark lack of compassion for the little girls I love so immensely! Thank you so much! I’m following you on BlogLovin. Thanks for sharing your story and life. I just had to write something and say thank you. You have made a difference in my life. God has used you to teach me so much!