Fierce Boundaries

Oct 012012

“Mommy, you’re spending too much time on your computer.”

This from a 7 year old.

Her words remind me that we made an agreement. I would never put my computer/writing before her. She has permission to tell me when I get off path, and then we start fresh.

I can’t sacrifice my children to write, do ministry, or anything else. However, I also realize that time is mine for the molding. I can choose to be wise with my moments, my days, and my life. And in fact, I’m getting fierce about my time and the choices I make.

I’ve backed off in many areas, and am taking regular time off to rest, stay alert with my priorities, and guard against burn-out. But I do want to write. I like writing. It’s my hobby, my fun thing, a way to stimulate my mind. So I will write with boundaries. I’m choosing to push out the voices that say, “you’re not really a writer” and to instead allow myself to fill blank space with who I am and what I want to pass on. My words, a legacy.

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’” Luke 14:28-30

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Posted on:October 1, 2012 Fresh Blog Start Add comments

HopeUnbroken

I almost picked a topic and wrote for the 31-day challenge. But your question about time for blogging has been burning in me for some time (months) now. The thing is–when I begin to talk about stopping, I have voices here at home that say “No, mom, you don’t want to do that!!!” Teenage voices that I believe want to hear what’s going on in my head that sometimes can only be expressed in my writing. And they are then inspired in their own writing. Which is what I have loved about this venture into the blogosphere. It is bringing out my own daughters’ gifts. So, I guess it is, indeed, all about finding the balance. Finding those moments and spaces for fit. Can’t wait to hear more from you on this.
Have a blessed day!
Steph
MomsMustardSeeds

Sarah Mae, you have encouraged me so much here. These blessings God gave me, come first….I only have a few more minutes of my’online time’…..and then…I’m theirs for most of the day…with ‘writing/working’ at the end of the day.
http://therunamuck.com amber@therunamuck

So good, girl.
http://www.moretobe.com/ Elisa Pulliam

Okay, so that verse struck me like never before. Thank you for including it in your post. It is one I am going to meditate on now.
http://twitter.com/ShifferDiane Diane Shiffer

I so need this series… I mean I really really *need* this series. Blogging used to give me such joy, but over the last several months it has become nothing more than one more dreaded chore on my too long to do list (and the fact that I haven’t updated in pretty much forever shows precisely how diligent I am about that to do list!) As I look forward to the next 31 days I’m actually feeling excited about blogging again… and that is such a relief. Yay!
http://twitter.com/HandsofMartha Martha

A fresh start is an awesome thing! I don’t have little ones at home but I try to blog when my husband is working, or enjoying a hobby of it. Looking forward to reading more. Have a great day!
SouthernGalThoughts

I need to set fierce boundaries. I move them around sometimes and it’s not good for me or my family. Thanks for picking this topic.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=686442200 Kristine McGuire

Wonderful words of advice which never fade whatever season of life a writer may be in. I love how you put this: “My words, a legacy”.
Darlene @ {In Pursuit}

Thank you for posting. I get up early before the children get up to have my devotional/prayer time (I call it my Morning Date with God). Then I blog and go through emails. Yet still, I find that it’s so easy to get caught up with learning to do things rather than actually doing them. So yes, this post is right up my alley. God has also put it in my heart to streamline my online time. I join you on this part of your journey. P.S. Thank you for sharing your testimony. It blessed my life.
TammyBoltWerthem

thanks for the reminder that our time is meant to honor Him.
Rosann

Sarah, it’s so good to see you’re back. I love the topic you chose for 31 days. I can relate some. I chose to write 31 Days to Supermom because I feel like I’ve let life get out of control within the walls of our home. In relationships with my children and husband…as well as extended family and friends. I’m forgetting birthdays. I’m behind on house cleaning. My schedule is a mess of chaos in my head instead of being organized on a calendar. So I’m using this time for my own fresh start. While I know there’s no such thing as supermom, I do believe there’s always room for improvement. Looking forward to following and being inspired by your writing and your beautiful heart.
http://twitter.com/ModernCW Stephanie

I love this! I’m so glad your doing this series – I really need it! Too often I feel like if I’m not blogging as much as other bloggers, I’m not doing enough. And it can easily creep into my life and overtake it. I don’t want that – I want to inspire and minister to other women, but how can it if it’s out of balance in my own life? I look forward to tomorrow’s post! Thanks Sarah!

http://twitter.com/kalynbr00ke KalynBrooke

I know what you mean! Some bloggers are posting 2 or 3 times a day. I think – I could never do that….nor do I want too!

A Mama’s Story

What a great series! Looking forward to following along for the next 30 days.
Guest

what a great beginning to your series definitely something i’ve been thinking about a lot too. (especially when my four year old said “i can’t wait until i’m a mommy and can play on the computer.” oops. though we did talk about how not all computer time is “play time”!) and i think i’m going to have to set a boundary for reading all the other great 31 day series…there’s some really great content this year!
Kimber-Leigh

what a great beginning to your series definitely something i’ve been thinking about a lot too. (especially when my four year old said “i can’t wait until i’m a mommy and can play on the computer.” oops. though we did talk about how not all computer time is “play time”!) and i think i’m going to have to set a boundary for reading all the other great 31 day series…there’s some really great content this year!
Rachel

This point is SO invaluable!! I have tripped up many times (not just w/ blogging) with the priorities in our home and family. God has called me to be a wife and mommy FIRST before my business, my blogging, etc….That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy those “me” things, but it’s super important that they are carefully scheduled and kept inside those boundaries! Thank you for the reminder!
http://www.facebook.com/jami.harder.3 Jami Harder

Perfect timing. I was discussing this with my husband a few days ago. Thank you for your obedience.
sonyamac

Oh, but YES and Amen … even at or more so at 16 and 13 my children soooo need me … HE has forced me to remove ALL that will not bring good consequences and GLORY to HIS name. A fresh study of Genesis sheds new light on the boundaries our FATHER set when HE created. So YES let our boundaries be fierce as the sea is to the land! As the day is to the night … as the evening is to the morning. Fierce boundaries …
http://www.servingjoyfully.com/ Crystal

God reminded me something very important recently. I DO have time for the blogging ministry He has called me to. I have time to write and hit publish, and trust that He will lead whoever needs to see it. What I tend to get lost in is the networking, twitter, facebook, blog-parties…and other marketing/promotional type stuff. He has reminded me to pull back in THAT area, so that I can still share the messages He has put on my heart.
Stacy

I look forward to reading this series, Sarah Mae.

I have been wrestling with these thoughts for quite some time. And like your ideas of fierce boundaries. I have thought about taking the rest of the year off from blogging. But haven’t decided yet, as I really do enjoy it, but do have such little free time it’s often difficult to choose writing in that moment when so many other things call.

Thanks for giving me some food for thought today.
http://twitter.com/kalynbr00ke KalynBrooke

It’s so hard to set office hours and boundaries when blogging is never quite complete. There’s always something more to write, market, reply to etc. If I’ve worked on something for a long time, I tell myself I need a break. It doesn’t always work, but I’m so much better for it when I follow my own advice.
http://www.blissfulwife.com/ Priscilla Fowler

I needed this. I put myself on a deadline for my new eBook. But, sometimes, writing can be an obsession to finish. That kills any of the joy I have in the writing process. I have to trust that I will get the work done with boundaries & time to relax with the people I love. :0)
http://hannahjiejie.wordpress.com/ Hannah

I don’t have children, just siblings, but even THEY notice when I’m on the computer more than with them. All it takes is your 8 year-old sister asking you to spend time with her instead of “writing on your blog or posting on facebook” you to want to change your ways right then and there!
http://hikingtowardhome.com/ Sharon@HikingTowardHome

I am looking forward to hearing what you have to say on this topic. I opted not to do a 31 days of… this year. burned out? yup.
Amy Thue

For a long time now I have been pretty out of the social media world. I love to write and I loved to blog, but my family suffered for it. I am starting to write again with a 31 day series, but I am not letting the writing consume me. Love this topic. Can’t wait to read more.
Jennifer

Nodding my head through the whole post. Yep. Cord officially struck. My little ones swarm around me (I work from home) and my son literally pulls my arm away from my keyboard to get my attention. *sigh* Definitely needed to read this as I embark on my own 31 days!

Thank you – Jennifer
http://www.ourperfektlife.com
Debbie

Awesome posts, Sarah Mae! I was so excited when I read 31 Days to a Fresh Blog Start. I can hear it in your voice – and so appreciate all the ways you are sharing this journey with us. I love it. Glad you got your groove back, Girl!
kris

“fierce boundaries”… i love that. i have them with my children’s lives for their protection and freedom. this reminds me to do the same with mine…
Elise Hurd

Beautiful post! Thank you!
Michelle

This is so different from the gal whose blog I started reading a few years ago. One of the first posts I read of yours (was actually a video) that encouraged ladies not to worry if you don’t have a set writing schedule because some people work better kind of going with the flow and we have to do what works best for us:)
(I can’t remember exact words now, but I thought on this for a while at the time because blogging was so new to me:)

It is such a joy to see how far you have grown in the Lord throughout the last few years. (I “met” you and sweet Jessica online about the same time)

I started out very disciplined in my blogging/online time and now, a few years later? I have shut down my blogs because I need to re-focus and discipline myself. I should have known better at my age, (40) but it is so easy to get unbalanced.

Honestly, though, it was never the actual blog writing time that sucked me in-it was always the blog reading and the social aspects that did me in!
Sheree

My 3 year old notices how much time I spend on the pc too. I over heard him telling his Dad the other night “Please go tell Mummy to get of the ‘puter’ so she can come play with us” … With that I got off quick smart. I have been wanting to start a blog, but I have to ask too … Do I have time?