Giving Myself Grace on *Those* Days

There are some days when I am so tired not even coffee can keep my eye lids functioning at a normal rate.

I’m dragging. I’m not doing crafts today. I’m not taking them on a walk. I’m not reading to them. We’ll get a smidgen of school work done, the basics.

These are not the days I want to live as life, but there are some days like these, and I’m just going to have to give myself grace.

Grace as I head to the movie store so there can be a movie day.

Grace to feed them store bought pumpkin pie, string cheese, and apple cider for lunch…and maybe even dinner.

Grace to try again tomorrow.

I know some people will think I’m being a bad mother. I’m being irresponsible. But I think I’m a good mother who is in process, and who some days, just needs a string-cheese, movie marathon kind of day.

There are enough “shoulds” in the world of a mother. Today, instead of “should” I’m saying, “could”.

I could take it easy on myself during certain times of the month when a gal is just flat out tired.

I could believe that God is just as pleased with me today as He is on the days when I’m rockin’ and rollin’ as a mama.

I could believe that my babies are okay when I’m a sack of potatoes.

I could believe that a movie marathon day won’t ruin their brains (depending on what they watch ;)

I think we’ll all just be okay today.

Pass the pie.

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  • Cathy

    Love it! Glad to hear I’m not alone.

  • http://twitter.com/seamstostreams Amy H. Walker

    Love! We have those days too and I am 100% Okay with that! :) Hope it is truly restful!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jkburkett Julie K Palmer Burkett

    EXACTLY what I’m feeling today…sick…headache…sore throat…fever….thank you for this perfectly timely post!

  • http://twitter.com/petejessnewland Jessica Newland

    You WILL be just fine! :) We all need days like that!

  • http://thehomespunlife.com Sisterlisa

    Would you like some ice cream on your pie? ;)

  • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

    Love this. Dads have these days too :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/kristi.rozeboomrobinson Kristi Rozeboom- Robinson

    Thanks for that, Sarah! If I wasn’t at work today we would be having the same kind of day at home. Going out to get a cup of coffee now :)

  • Ron and Bia Warkentin

    Yes. Yes, and Amen.

  • jimmie lee

    Oh my gosh, Today is one of those days for me too and I had this same kind of conversation with myself just over an hour ago. Thank you Sarah. I am in need of some grace today too. Thank you.

  • Brittany

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I find it so hard to give myself permission to have “those days”. Good to know I’m not alone.

  • Rachel

    I would have done far better to allow myself to have “one of those days” today than to push through and end up with a tantrum 4yo and a tantrum momma. It wasn’t pretty. I have not felt we’ll for about a month and spent most of the day yeast ready in bed (live my husband). I never think of just taking a break- like I have to do it all right all of the time.

  • Shawna

    Love this! Enjoy your snuggle time!

  • http://www.blissfulwife.com/ Priscilla Fowler

    Mmm…Punkin pie! :)

  • Ginny Walls

    Great perspective! There have been days I’ve given my kids sundaes for supper. They’re dairy, sometimes nuts, fruit (the cherry on top). Almost a balanced diet. And now they’re 40, 36, 34 and 31. None the worse for wear. Relax mamas = GRACE! Sarah Mae’s right!

  • http://twitter.com/hbixler03 Heather Bixler

    Yes, I have had a few days like that myself. :)

  • Kimberly Amici

    I love those kind of days. It’s only recently I have let myself really enjoy them. Today is one of those days here…kids off from school, snuggle weather, video games in the basement… my kind of day.

  • Kirsten Goff

    Amen!

  • rachelboreing

    As I was reading about your days when you feel less than enough, I couldn’t help but think that movie days and days with pumpkin pie for lunch really are the type of days that your kids will remember. Looking back on my childhood, the memories that are the sweetest often are from doing things out of the ordinary!

    Now, to remember this myself when I’m feeling like a failure when we’re all still in our jammies at 3 and have had yet another ‘snack lunch’ with nothing planned for dinner and the house a wreck… :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/jamie.coburn Jamie Ivester Coburn

      This is so true! I was thinking the same thing!

  • http://pinkdryerlint.com/ Robin Kramer @ Pink Dryer Lint

    From another mother having a similar type of day: yes, yes, yes.

  • anonymous55

    Thanks for this article, Sarah. I homeschooled two children over a total of 16 years while enduring a chronic pain condition. Every day was different, but we got through them by the grace of God.

  • sabrina hartman

    I love this! With an 8 week old, a 3 1/2 year old, and a 2 year old, I feel like every day is one of “those” days. Finally, after my 3rd baby, I have realized that this is a very, very short season of life. My little 3 1/2 year old son, who I’m sure was just born yesterday (it feels like it anyway), is extremely independent. So, I spend as much time as I can cuddling with my newborn, because I know that in just a few short months, she’ll be on the move, and won’t be in the cuddly stage anymore. Instead of stressing out over what I’m not doing, I make sure to make use of the time I have to spend with the kids. We do movies, we play simon says, we all lay on the carpet together and watch the baby, we build sofa cushon forts…and on “those” days when I have no energy do get a whole lot of real stuff accomplished, I have what I call a “grace dinner”…a frozen (yes, store bought) meal. And we eat off of paper plates with those meals. A good week is when we only go through one of those meals during the entire week :o ) Sorry so long, today is one of those days and my mind is a little fuzzy, which always makes me write more than I meant to.

  • Gabrielle Daigle

    And we need to give ourselves grace when we’re in *those* seasons too. I’m in one now, with a new baby, a 20 month old, and a 3 year old. I had great plans of productivity, but took a nap instead. And God still loves me! Thanks for your perspective. I needed to hear this today!

  • Suzanne

    I love this! I have these days too! Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves instead of understanding that we cannot be supermom all the time.

  • Lynn

    This was the best posting ever! This is from an empty nest mom who doesn’t have that time of the month any more. So enjoy that pie!!

  • http://twitter.com/TrinaHolden Trina Holden

    you, too? and here I was thinking it was just me. LOL you described, um, my entire week. I’m guessing that’s still ok. ;) because, as two wise people told me last week, and now you reminded me–we are in process.

  • http://twitter.com/graceformoms Jessica Wolstenholm

    *Those* days are some of the most precious and teach our children to be full of grace and real. Hope you enjoy the snuggles and pie!

  • http://twitter.com/HandsofMartha Martha

    There’s nothing wrong with movie marathons. My little boy will be 30 in a couple months and I think back over the years, I use to worry about those lazy days when I was just too tired. Recently during a conversation with my son, he said he looked forward to those lazy days because he got to see another side of me. On those days I was little more goofy (fun), and we enjoyed marathon board games, movies, pizza night. He welcomed the break, and as he got older, those were the days, he cooked a meal for dinner — he loved that I “let” him try to learn new dishes to cook. I enjoyed “letting” him take over at dinner time — I didn’t want take out and didn’t feel like cooking… win win situation. Soak up those days — I haven’t had one of those in years, well not with my son! lol

  • http://twitter.com/sclubmama Randi S

    I totally needed to read this today. Totally. Thanks. And remember that nothing we do can make God love us more or less than He already does.

  • Elizabeth Bruffey

    I just had my 2nd child 3 days ago and this post is so encouraging!! we, as a new family of four, are definitely having some grace-filled days as we figure out our “new normal”! Our normal routine is definitely changing and right now we are just BEING – together at home and giving a lot of grace to our 23 month old as he figures out this new life with a baby sister.

  • http://4ambassadorsofchrist.blogspot.com/ Jarmila V. Del Boccio

    I’m so thankful for God’s grace…thanks for modeling it for us, Sarah Mae!

  • JHart0816

    I find that my girls love *those* days when I’m not trying to be super mom. They love the extra cuddle time with me and the out of the ordinary meals. I was sick for about 3 weeks recently with a cold that just wouldn’t let up and my little one was always by my side “taking care of me” and enjoying having time to just snuggle with me. While I cannot do that every day, I remember that if I need a day to just kick back and take care of myself, as long as I let the girls join in, everything will be just fine. And in the process I’m teaching them to remember to take the time to rest and recharge themselves.

  • http://www.facebook.com/danielle0407 Danielle Ortiz

    I absolutely enjoy how real you are!! I’ve got in those moods but people have a tendency to make me feel about and I have to try and I guess “snap” out of it.

  • http://twitter.com/phoward336 Pam Howard

    I love this – so true. And I bet your kids will totally remember the day they had pie for lunch and watched movies all day! As long as it’s not everyday, you can even create great memories on your “not on top of it all” days!

  • Crafty Mama

    I love stories like these. :-) I know I feel like a bad mom when I give my kids just PBJs for lunch…a few days in a row! But I’m encouraged to know I’m not alone. I heard a radio show host on a Christian station I love say that she gave her kids sundaes for dinner one day! And her kids still talk about it. :-) The memories are worth the occasional jump outside the typical realm of mommyhood. ;-)

  • http://joycannis.wordpress.com/ Joy

    Sarah! You peered in and spoke directly to my heart today! Thank you for being so authentic. Truly. You are a blessing.
    Love and Light,
    Joy

  • Aprille

    thanks for this post. not only has my two-year-old been pulling all nighters for the last four nights, I was asked to watch another two-year-old today. My son woke up with a fever and I woke up with a cold. I am still in pajamas and I feel like crap. And I’m leaving town for 5 days and have to pack and plan meals for my husband. It’s definitely been one of THOSE days. Netflix has been on all day for the two of them. and lunch wasn’t anything to right home about. Grace grace grace.

  • Diema

    Great job. :.) A great post and VERY applicable on this day for me as well.

  • Sheree Kershaw

    This is perfectly written and I could relate to what you are saying. I am certainly having one of those weeks (and it’s only Wednesday) … But we are getting through …:)

  • Beth Williams

    I have had 1 month of “those days”. It has been super busy at work, aging parents, not sleeping well & “women’s days–company comes, if you will”.
    I need grace from my hubby to forgive my attitude,
    I think God understands that we are just human and not perfect. We need to forgive ourselves, love our kids & do the best we can!

  • Stephanie

    I love this post! Sometimes, having a slow day helps us recharge, reconnect and get back on track, a mini holiday does wonders for mom and kids. Thank you for sharing :)

  • Angela

    Yep, we all have one of ‘those’ days …thanks for keeping it real.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sarah.w.lewis.9 Sarah Wohlers Lewis

    I’m a little late commenting here as I’m catching up on some blog reading. Anyways, thank you so much for that. Sometimes if feels like being a good mom is one crazy competition. I know most of the pressure is put on by myself, but it still tires a girl out! I constantly ride myself because many of the things in our cupboards are not organic, I use disposable diapers and I’m not thinking of homeschooling (not that I’m against it). I find myself measuring my worth by all the “right” things I do as a mom. The conversation in my head goes…”oh, such and such is homeschooling. I had better think about doing that because that’s what a good mom would do” or “I need to be better about making gourmet meals at every meal time because that’s what a good mom would do”. I am such a Martha! I am now trying to measure myself through God’s eyes and am trying everyday to be more of a Mary.

  • Sally Clarkson

    How did I miss this post? love your heart–and yes, God thinks you are pretty darling! :) Have a good weekend.

  • Charley Me

    Pass the pie!

  • http://twitter.com/eagerhands Lora

    i’ve had a few of those days myself recently! lately, I’ve felt God nudge me more toward cuddling than cleaning. my dirty dishes can wait, but holding my babies cannot. :)