Two Ways to Lose Your Life - Sarah Mae
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Two Ways to Lose Your Life

There are two ways to lose your life.

You can lose your life by doing too much, draining out, and then missing out on the fullness of life, or you can lose your life by choosing the selflessness of the cross in order to invest in the eternal.

I’m losing my life in the wrong kind of way, and I’m tired. I’m bored, and selfish, and I forget what it feels like to enjoy my children. I thought I was back in the groove, but it’s the wrong groove. I remember before I started I blogging, I was a pretty good mama. Granted, I only had two at the time, but I really invested in them, and my home, and my husband. I was excited to teach them, and be with them, and cultivate their souls. And now, I’m shallow. I’m overwhelmed with the responsibility of teaching and training my sweet ones, meeting my husbands needs, and making a home. I rely too much on the internet for a source of escape when my children don’t listen, or they fight, or they want too much of me. They don’t even have enough of me. I can’t live like this; I don’t want to wake up in 15 years and regret my life.

I need to live.

I want to keep my life by losing it for the eternal. 

I’m not going to be online in November, because I’m out of control. I’m going to spend my days re-learning how to enjoy my family, make a home, reading in the evenings to my children, baking with my babes, doing Thanksgiving crafts, getting out into the community, having coffee with my in-the-flesh friends, and living. I want to live fully alive for the glory of God. I want the eternal in my home. I want to win my kids hearts. I want to love my man well.

And for whatever reason, I can’t seem to do those things and blog.

I’ve been living in the tension for too long. You all have seen it, I’m so back and forth. I’m sorry for that.

So it is.

See you in December. Maybe.


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  • Susan Hayes

    Amen sister. Praying you find the balance He intends for your days.

  • Sisterlisa

    aww Thank you for your transparency, Sarah Mae. You spend a lot of time preparing the conference to bless everyone else..and business/ministry can be a very good thing, but not nearly as great as being a wife and mama. It sounds like a sabbatical is just what’s needed to replenish your soul. Everyone needs rest.

  • Stacey

    You just spoke my heart… again. I feel like you always write exactly what I need to say. I wonder if I have the strength to stay away from the online? I don’t know…

  • Kristine McGuire

    Praying you find what you are seeking, Sarah Mae. There is so much in this busy world which demands our attention. You do have your priorities straight, my friend, because you are willing to step back from all of this for what’s important: God, your man, and your babes. May our gracious Lord’s favor rest upon you and your family.

  • LaDonna Stoker

    Sarah Mae, you are amazing and I pray that God renews and rejuvenates your love for life and all that you have in it during this present time. I appreciate your honesty. I can’t wait to see and hear from you in February when you and Sally Clarkson speak in Dallas. It will be worth the silence in this space to hear your voice speak vibrantly for the glory of God there.

    • Kacey @ Well-Rounded Home

      I’m looking forward to that too!

  • Ginny

    God knows your heart Sarah, He loves you and so do I.

  • Julie Jordao

    Well done for choosing the right thing! God bless your time offline!

  • Stacy @ A Delightful Home

    God bless you, Sarah Mae. Saying a prayer for you and your family right now.
    I hope you find that joy and passion again. Thank you for your continued honesty. It helps so many of us.
    Much love to you,

  • Jeannie Hatez

    Praying you find what you’re looking for! Enjoy the Family. Hold them close, love them stronger, and be forever better! <3

  • Nancy

    Amen! There is so much pressure for women to do more than be Godly wives and mothers. We are expected to be Godly businesswomen also. More often I see friends apologizing for making the difficult decision to once again put their families first. I will pray for you and your family.

  • Jess Jensen

    I watched your Allume keynote, which was very similar. It was so beautiful. Yes, go live your life.

  • Amy

    The Lord has put you on my heart again and again since I’ve been home from Allume. You will continue to be in my prayers. May God’s grace wash over you while you take this time to breathe.

  • Mary Bonner

    You know I am a big supporter of you slowing down and stepping back. God will bless you girl! Love you.

  • Catherine C. Larson

    Atta girl!

  • Shannon

    Love it. Powerful. Whenever I regret what I’m not ” accomplishing” I try to remember that I’m momma-ing. When I left my high paying career to stay at home with my babies I told my customers God gave me a promotion. 🙂
    Best wishes. And enjoy the promotion.

  • Kacey @ Well-Rounded Home

    Wow, I’m so in awe an inspired. I’ve been thinking about taking a break like this but I kept thinking, but I can’t. Bloggers don’t do that. I love that you’re willing to let the not so big things go for the really big things. I love your gumption–it shows your faith level.

  • TraciMLittle

    Enjoy your life! <3 We love you!

  • Angela @ Homegrown Mom

    The last post I wrote in Feb was about this, and I never looked back. What it all boils down to is this: Writkng , blogging will always be here. My kids will be grown and gone in ten short years. I’ve never regretted quitting. But the very week I made my final decision, more than one very tempting offer came in. Every time I’m tempted to start back up, I think of how amazing these last few months have been and how close my girls and I are. I have the “whatever I do consumes me” personality and I can’t handle blogging like I was and schooling and loving my kids. Plenty of people can, I can’t. This weekend was my daughter’s 16th birthday and she had a couple friends sleepover after her party. We found ourselves whispering in the kitchen for quite a while about a certain boy before she realized she’d left her 2 friends upstairs. Would that have happened if I hadn’t invested so much time in so many long talks over the last year? Probably not. And I wouldn’t trade that for laying in bed with a laptop while she confides in her friends… For anything. I don’t even comment on blogs anymore but I wanted to encourage you to enjoy this break and see where God leads you. Bless you 🙂

  • MomLaurM

    Sarah Mae. You speak to me – or is it God speaking through your words again? I too cannot seem to do both. Cannot seem to find the balance. Yet I still feel the pull, tug, to write. His words. But what’s wrong with me that I can’t get it right? Maybe I need the break too. Maybe for a time. Maybe forever. But you’ve planted the seed and I’ll be praying.

    • MomsMustardSeeds

      I saw you here….and I know God has planted some seeds in both of our hearts. I’ll pray with and for you….love you!

  • Alexis

    Wow… I felt like you were reading a story out of my life. This is so me. Word for word everything is how I am feeling and how my family is suffering. THANK YOU for putting it in words for me.

    I love you Sarah and I am so thankful for your words and the gifts the Lord has blessed you with. You have been a HUGE encouragement for me, and I have learned more than I will ever be able to tell you from reading your blog and the bible that you always point us to. Take this time and be with your family knowing that you have done a GOOD thing for the Lord and for all of us. We all want you to be with your family and be the best mama that you always encourage us to be.

    Be blessed and ENJOY!!!!

  • Emily Pitman

    Praying for you this month. May God sing His Love over you and show you how much He adores you. And may that adoration spill onto your family in the messiness of grace and joy.

  • Stephanie

    Thank you for the reminder and helping me to see my reflection staring back at me in this post. I so wish I was your real life friend!

  • MomsMustardSeeds

    Thankful for your words of encouragement – placing God and families first.

  • Jennifer

    Oh Wow – I feel the same way and I don’t even blog. But I do spend too much time online. And I feel super shallow right now. I completely understand how you are feeling. I think I will follow your lead and disconnect for the month, too. Thank you for the inspiration.

    And I’ll be praying for you. Enjoy this time of year when we focus on our blessings and prepare for the celebration of Christ’s birth. Focus on God and your family. I’m sure this will be a wonderful month for you!

  • Amanda

    Sarah, while I absolutely understand taking the time off, I’m so thankful that you shared this particular blog. I’ve been in the midst of doing some hard counseling work and I feel all absorbed in that, and having a tough time being present. We loose our lives by stealing them selfishly away, or by giving them away. Do I keep my minutes, or give them? This is what I’m going to camp on. And I’ll go teach my boys and love on my husband, clean bathrooms for my family not guests. Thank you, thank you.

  • Carla Lenting-Versteeg

    Thank you for sharing what I am sure so many of us feel! I am also resolved now to take November off (although I don’t blog, I spend time that should be spent with God and on my family reading blogs.) May God bless you!

  • willowandlaylasmom

    These are the exact reasons that I dropped my blogging habit altogether. If you can’t find balance anylonger- it’s best to step back, even if for a small while. I don’t even read many blogs anymore. {With the exception of 2} And even then, I just pop in every so often…. I deeply hope that you find some peace and refreshment! <3

  • Jarm Del Boccio

    Good for you, Sarah Mae…you know what your priorities are. Blessings on your month, sister! I’m heading that direction, too.

  • Sharon

    Good for you, Sarah! My family could definitely benefit from my fasting the internet.

  • Amy Tilson

    Oh, you must need a break after all the work that went into Allume – which was amazing – for that reason alone. Go for it!! Get lattes, decorate, make handprint turkeys and just live it all every day. You are being a wonderful example. I’m pretty sure i’ll be hearing from you in December anyway. ;0

  • Melissa S.

    This is great! Thanks for recognizing that you can’t always do it all…nor should any of us. Good for you! Focus on the most important things that you mentioned. You really spoke to me today.

  • Sharon O

    I always enjoy your blog posts but I also know and realize you have a family to attend to and sometimes a break is all one needs to get ‘recentered’ and organized. Hope you don’t stay away too long.

  • Annie |

    So much grace to you Sarah Mae, in this month of quiet.

  • Jessica Newland

    Girl, I’m right there with you. Feel like I’m drowning, but not with the things I should be. I don’t even blog a ton, but the Internet world is SO distracting! I’d love to know how the rest of your computer time will happen with a blog break. Are you stopping it all? I’m such a bad mom lately and I hate that about me right now. Pulled in so many directions.

  • bookberrey

    I so totally understand living in the tension. It’s tiring. And I don’t know if there’s a perfect balance until we get to heaven. I have 5 girlies ages 5 and under and the deepest desire of my heart is to write, to do MORE, but there’s so much here and now life to live. . . Even though I don’t blog and barely get to check my email, the distractions are still present.

  • Gin at DoeHill

    Praying for you! If our Lord retreated from the public scene for a while (Luke 5:16), it only makes sense that we’ll need that, too, since His life is our pattern. However He leads you in regards to blogging/online time, you’ve blessed me. Thanks for that season and I’m praying for His guidance and peace with the direction HE takes you. Blessings, Gin

  • Suse

    May God bless you and your precious family in your blog free time for your choice. There would be so many mums that understand exactly what you mean. I feel like you have described. My blessing of others is not as far reaching as yours, but sometimes we get busy for God and miss out on our relationship with him. A very convicting post. I will miss you, but I hope you have a guilt free break.

  • Linda Johnston

    Do we know what rest is! God does. Do no unnecessary work 3x yr, keep the Sabbath, 7 year rest. Rest is a good practice! . A good reminder#rest

  • Kristi V.

    May God bless you and your family!

  • Kati

    Thanks for keepin’ it real. And listening to the Holy Spirit.

  • Ashley Ditto

    I completely understand this. I struggle so much, and I know I need to stop and go back to the way I used to be- without so much craziness from social media. My family is what counts. Blessings to you Sarah Mae. I admire you so much for this post!

  • Danielle Bane

    Thanks for being so real here for all the ones who are thinking, “Bigger, better, more…” Our most important sphere of influence is first at home, and precious are the years we have to sow Godly seeds in our children. Impossible to do if they only see the back of our head while we’re glued to the computer. As a new blogger, I went to Allume thinking bigger, better, more…and came home realizing small has it all. God bless you as you recommit your time and energy!

  • Debbie Petras

    We need to focus on the right things. Good for you for recognizing that you need this time. May the Lord bless you Sarah Mae.

  • Sarah

    Completely understand… I feel the same way, maybe I should follow in your footsteps and get off line too!

  • Esther E Hawkins

    I love your vulnerability – it comes with great courage and wisdom.

  • sabrina hartman

    I’m with you! I was/am completely overwhelmed by everything, and the to-do list in my head keeps growing. I am going to minmize my time online, not really because I get lost in cyber space (although I do sometimes!), but because the comparison that goes on my head adds even more stress. I hope you have the best November ever!

  • Stacy Averette

    I just read this post (Nov. 15) and the timing was perfect. Last night driving home from Wednesday night church I was thinking about my life. I am heart broken, grieving, and overwhelmed by so much. As a result I haven’t been cooking, cleaning, homeschooling or writing. Just running away to my computer, the t.v., the mall–and feeling guilty about it all. I thought specifically of you and wondered how you keep your balance. Thank you for being real. The Lord has used your words (again) to minister to me.

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