We Are The Sorter-Outers Of The Tangles In Our Children’s Hearts

heart-shaped
 

Twice now she said, “You never listen to me.”

Never?

Never is big and I’m pretty sure “never” is not accurate, but to her, it is.

To her, it’s never.

My insides hurt and I want to say, “Yes I do!” I want to defend myself. But what is the good in that? So I tell her I will listen. And I tell her I try and always listen and be fair and really hear what she’s saying, but sometimes I don’t do it right. I ask her to come to me. “You feel offended, and that I’m treating you unfairly?” “Yes, and I’m sad and angry and I don’t know why.” “Okay, let’s talk about that.”

She talks, I hear and take in, and I try to unravel the web of bitterness in a little ones heart. Strand by strand I gently pull until we get a little closer to the knot being undone. I can see the knot, but I know that I can’t get it out, it’s too tight. I ask her if we can pray. She says yes. We go to the only One who can untangle our mess, all the mess that is of  hurt, self-righteousness, anger, and un-forgiveness.

Amen.

She lingers on my lap for awhile,  her head on my shoulder.

We just sit.

How tender is a young heart, and how easily wounds fester. I’m 32 and I wonder at the wounds in my own heart. I feel more untangled now than ever; freedom is all over me because of Him. But I have understanding; I’ve lived and I’ve fought for freedom. My little ones, they don’t understand the fullness of forgiveness and sin and pain and injustice. They haven’t lived enough. It’s confusing for them, they just know how they feel. I’m the sorter-outer.

We, us mamas and daddies, we’re the ones who have to keep at the sorting. We must keep on listening, really listening, discerning, and teaching our babes so they can be open to freedom. We help make the way for Jesus.  With compassion, patience, and time we give to the work of sorting the heart strings so He can come in tie them up new and beautiful.

It’s slow and meticulous, and it requires nothing short of grace.

“God puts the fallen on their feet again.” Psalm 147:6

Love, SM

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Photo Credit: Heart-Shaped

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  • Jos @ Joyful{in}Chaos

    Such beautiful words. And truths. And such a tall hat to have on our heads. Only with God’s grace will we be able to do these things…untangle the mess. But if we don’t…they will try on their own. Thank you for these words…

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Yes, so much grace and only with Him.

  • Tiffany

    Absolutelt Beautiful! I had tears in my eyes as I read this! All i could think about was my own little 3 years old baby girl and how I need to be a better “sorter-outer” in her life! Thank you I Really needed to hear this today! I pray for you and that you find the Peace and what you need, that you are looking for!

    • Guest

      Tiffany, thank you for your words. So glad it encouraged your heart to sort out hers. :)

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Tiffany, thank you for your words. So glad it encouraged your heart to sort out hers. :)

  • Anne-Marie

    Loved this! Thanks for the great reminder.

  • Ginny

    You’re sorting out a little bit of everything lately, but the hearts are the most important, yours and theirs.

  • http://twitter.com/emilysaysblog Emily Says

    Just what this mama needed to hear tonight. Thank you.

  • Janelle

    What a wonderful post! What a beautiful gift we have as parents to be blessed to be a part of God’s working in our children’s hearts. And it truly is nothing short of grace! Loved reading this!

  • jwolstenholm

    Oh Sarah Mae, I needed to read this today. Had a tough day with my girl yesterday and I’m afraid I hurt her heart in the process. More to sort out I guess. Grace, grace, grace for mother and child. Thank you!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/christy.fitzwater.5 Christy Fitzwater

    As I read this I think of my daughter whose personality and way of thinking about things is COMPLETELY different from me, and it has taken years for me to understand her and stop trying to untie her knots the way I untie mine. I had to learn who she is first so I could approach her problems differently. Thank you for this most beautiful post!

  • http://www.facebook.com/sonyamacdesigns Sonya McCllough

    what an awesome JOB # 1 reminder ! Thank YOU for your continual obedience to HIM that keeps us!

  • Beth Williams

    Great idea to get her to pray. That is soo important for young ones to think about and remember when life hands you lemons & you feel mistreated or not understood–than pray and ask God for guidance.
    Way to go mom!

  • Tehila

    Thank you for your honesty and openness, Sarah Mae. I am constantly challenged to view things from my children’s perspectives. They perceive the messages that we speak, even in unspoken ways, so differently at times than we as parents even intended to portray them.

    May the Lord give us grace and wisdom and we raise their hearts, and untangle the knots that all too often we have unintentionally tied.

    http://www.womenabiding.com

  • TraciMLittle

    Beautiful post friend! <3 Traci Michele @ Ordinary Inspirations http://www.ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com

  • http://www.tessahardiman.com/ Tessa

    Great thoughts Sarah. This helped give me a different perspective on the role of a momma…thank you.

  • http://www.southerngirlsheart.com/ Ashley Ditto

    Bless you and your writing, its so real and relateable. Sometimes when I read other blogs, they make everything sound perfect and clean and no flaws. I think its wonderful how true you are and how beautiful your heart is. Thank you Sarah Mae!

  • http://www.facebook.com/anna.white.967 Anna White

    This is beautiful. I, like you say above, feel hard won freedom. I’ve never thought about the fact that my children will have to fight their own battles to get to this place. This idea hurts my heart. I’d like to be ale to think that I can help them avoid all the hard tangled knots that tied me up and held me captive. Maybe that’s impossible? Maybe we are all born tangled, in knots from the very beginning.

  • http://twitter.com/stop4chocolate Lisa

    I absolutely love this post Sarah Mae! Hadn’t thought of it that way before. It’s a tough and delicate job all at the same time. Hope you had a lovely and blessed Thanksgiving my friend! Hugs! :)

  • Noel McNeil

    Wonderful words Sarah. I’ve been working on my heart before Christ lately so I can better show Him to my children. Thanks for the encouragement.

  • Milla

    What a beautiful message, seems just in time for me too! Today is one of those days that I need this encouragement. Love it how the Lord works, and sends me just what I need at the right time. I had come across your blog a few days ago. Didn’t have time to browse through it then, so I left the browser with your page open. Come sunday, I was a bit overwhelmed and frustrated, maybe just drained and tired from tending to a toddler that’s in his terrible two’s six months too early and a 6 and 9 year old, alone while hubby is away doing what he usually does, trucking.

    It is the constant dealing with kids and like you said the sorting out, and pulling my little one out of every trouble possible to find in the house, that has me tired and weary at times. Those are the times that I rely on God, especially and He always comes through with encouragement to lift my soul and re-energize me!

    Thank you for sharing your heart and offering healing and a helping hand to all the mommies out there. It does help to know that I am not alone going through this, and that there are lots of other mothers out there who are fighting the same battle.

    Many Blessings to you and your family Sarah Mae!