Follow-Up to Gentleness Post - Resources to Help in Training/Disciplining Your Child - Sarah Mae
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Follow-Up to Gentleness Post – Resources to Help in Training/Disciplining Your Child

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“Discipline is not just an act to stop disobedience, it’s a leading into a path of righteousness.” -Clay Clarkson

So this post on gentleness got quite the response!

As a follow-up, I offer these resources, ones that I go back to time and time again for help with training and disciplining and discipling my babes. Hope they help and encourage you:

Heartfelt Discipline–Following God’s Path of Life to the Heart of Your Child by Clay Clarkson

So so so good. Heartfelt Discipline is filled with stories, practical help (not formulas), and wisdom. The most interesting part of this book is the study of the rod in scripture – it is thorough and surprising. If you could only have one book on child training, I say get this one.

Perfectionism by Ann Voskamp

“…why did I ever think our children could be perfectly obedient? 100% of the time?”

Read, read, read! Right now!

Seasons of a Mother’s Heart by Sally Clarkson

This is a go-to book for me when it comes to parenting. The chapter on compassionate parenting changed our family for the good. Highly recommended. Sidenote: The description says it’s for homeschool moms, but it will help and encourage any mom.

Two VERY helpful articles:

The Mystery of Discipline, Part 1

The Mystery of Discipline, Part 2

Also, pray. Seriously, pray and listen and treat your babes how you want to be treated. And when you mess up (you will), begin again. And again.

Mother on,

Sarah Mae

P.S. The Desperate book club is over at Sally’s today! She’s talking about Chapter 7 – Sacrifice in the Mundane!

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  • Nikki Tibbetts

    I don’t really consider my kids “babes” anymore since my youngest is almost 8 and my oldest is 11. However, I need more patience and gentleness when disciplining them.

  • Kami Crisanti

    I should have bought this one at the conference in Dallas (Heartfelt Discipline) I was never a reader…now I can’t read enough. I’d LOVE to win it! Kami

  • Kristin Hill Taylor

    This resonates with me for a few reasons, but right now God is really reminding me that our kids are individuals and what we plan or how we handle situations with one may not be what the other child needs. It is OK to change your mind or tweak your philosophy. {Talking to myself here …}

  • Stephanie Hauser

    Thank you so much. I see so much more from my children when I parent out of grace. I fail at it daily, but I always remember how much grace God gives me and strive to do better the next day.

  • Stacy

    I need help with patience and not losing it over the little things.

  • Laura G.

    Thank you so much for the resources, especially Ann Voskamp’s article on Perfectionism. I too struggled with some of the Pearl’s teachings/viewpoints and want to model Christ to my baby, not just unquestioning obedience. Thank you again.

  • Stephanie Dakin

    I definitely need to work on giving more grace and the gentle part of disciplining (instead of the crazy-yelling-mommy part of it…..)! I love Sally’s posts that you pointed us to, particularly the Mystery of Discipline Pt 2 – thank you for that!

  • Barbara Thatcher-Broxson

    Would love to read this!!

  • richele

    Awesome giveaway!

  • Rita Bartlett

    SOOO glad this is back in print! My first grandbaby was born in July and I want to give a copy to her mama and daddy.

  • keltrinswife

    I need to learn discipline not as a way to control my son, but to guide him Be blessed:)

  • Kelly

    More patience with my 3, 2, and 1 year olds.

  • Amy Roberts

    I have been waiting for this book!!!! Can’t wait to read it.

  • Melanie

    I need help in every area it seems like!! Certainly patience is top of the list. And not losing my temper over trivial things, or even over bigger things. Lots of room for improvement here.

  • Erin

    My best friend (and PW mentor) and I just had a conversation about this. She was lovingly bringing to my attention that I actually am TOO gracious when it come to discipline. My son is a sweet, sweet boy but after the events of this past year I coddle him and “let him off” too many times. I know I have a boy who knows how to word things and pull the emotion card to pull on my heart strings and he gets a “get out of jail” free card. We have just started to lovingly demand immediate obedience and we are tailoring it to his specific needs and bends. Discipline is a true balance between law and grace 🙂

  • Hope Marshall

    Patience and abandoning perfectionism. I need God’s grace moment by moment.

  • Melinda LaPlante

    I would love to read this book! Thanks for the chance!

  • Melissa G

    I need to learn when to discipline and when to give grace.

  • Hollie King McClendon

    Thank you so much for this post. I totally need it! Working on gentleness!

  • Tami Vigesaa

    I have such a hard time remaining patient with my three INCREDIBLY passionate, fiery kiddos..

  • TraciMLittle

    i’d love to win this! my friend is reading it and loves it!

  • Shonda Knowlton

    Definitely gentleness and patience

  • Laura Day

    I would love to win a copy! I am on day 3 of reading Desperate… which is just what I am: desperate to change the tone of my home.

  • Grace Evans

    We’ve been studying discipline this month at church– so good! Ephesians 6 and Deuteronomy 6 🙂
    I would love to read this book!

  • Laura G.

    Thank you. This was much needed today.

    • Laura G.

      I struggle so much with being patience and my own selfishness. (I’ve read the book by the Pearls, but they really leave no room for grace based parenting.)

  • Joy

    Dealing with attitudes when they don’t want to do something.

  • Amber Thornton

    I so need this! My biggest fear is that I will destroy my babies through bad discipline!

  • Heidi Volker Johnson

    This was great!

  • Carrie Attebery-Sharp

    I lose patience when my kids get angry with me and start being disrespectful. I go from reasonable to unglued in a matter of seconds.

  • Amanda

    Being patient with my middle child…she is extremely headstrong and frustrating at times. I have a hard time remembering that she just wants attention.

  • Vanessa

    i am looking forward to diving into the resrouces that you have given. we have been working on this with our daughter – and with ourselves 🙂 thank you

  • Jessica

    I really need a copy of this book! I have no idea WHAT to do with my four year old daughter!!! Nothing seems to be working!

  • Monica

    Help with my babes – in positive words to speak to them. It feels like so much of what I say is correction and don’t’s.

  • Stephanie Norr

    I need help across the boare, from being more patient to consistency to not getting angry quickly. My son is 5 and already very strong willed.

  • Kate H

    Being consistent… not letting laziness get in the way of caring for my kids with loving discipline.

  • Becca

    I need to understand that they, just like me, are imperfect little beings who are trying desperately to get my attention, approval, but most of all my unconditional love and acceptance.

  • Rhonda

    Excellent post! I really want to read Heartfelt Discipline. As the mother of three children (two 9-year-olds and 1 8-year-old, I really want to raise them the way God wants them raised and disciplined.

  • ettinsmuir

    I’ve ALWAYS wanted to read this one! I love their other books so much….

  • Beth Covalt


  • Jane

    Controlling my tongue (saying something in the heat of the moment than feeling like I have to follow through)

  • Eillene C.

    need help with everything…responding with compassion, grace and love…and building them up instead of down all the time!<3

  • Shirley

    With discipline and dealing with temper tantrums

  • wholesomewomanhood

    Two of the things we’re working on right now is not whining or tattling on their brother.

  • Momoffour

    Desperate has really blessed me! These resources are much needed encouragement as we raise our kids for the Lord! Thank you!

  • Mama S

    Wow I love all those resources, I bookmarked this page, because I know that I will need to come back again, you know when life gets crazy and need some positive advice.

    Have a wonderful day Sarah Mae,

  • Rosann

    Looks like a great book to read!

  • Jessica H

    I really want to change the way I handle discipline in our home. I know I carry too much leftover anger and its not something I want to pass on to my kids. I want to read all of these… Jessica

  • Dawn Turchin Samuels

    Great resources – thanks!

  • Amy C.

    When all 3 boys are talking at the same time and being disrespectful at the table.

  • Amber

    oh boy, it is so hard to pick just one thing…um I guess right now I most need help with knowing where to give grace and where to be strict and how exactly that looks

  • Penelope

    Hi, thank you for the chance to win.

  • Catherine O.

    All of these resources look amazing. Great ideas for a new parent gift too!

  • Amanda M.

    Would love to win! Three years of age has been very, very trying so far.

  • M. Alexander

    I’m not always gentle and able to give grace to my children, so I need help with that the most.

  • Jessie Buxton Peckens

    Dealing with obedience in my 2 year old! And those “terrible two’s” 🙂

  • Tara

    just finished chapter one of your book. loveeeee.

  • Laura

    Thank you for this great list! The book Grace Based Parenting is incredible too. 🙂 May you be blessed by your little ones today!

  • Aleah

    Whew…. PATIENCE! 🙂

  • LLTwinsMama

    With twins, it’s getting to be quite a task to discipline. Often times putting both in different time-out chairs. They like to team up at age 2 1/2 they are learning so quickly how to do that! I do not want to fall into my mother’s ways of discipline and that can be a struggle when my patience is wearing thin.

  • Casie

    I have been waiting for this book to come out! I have been wanting to read it for years, but the used copies were so expensive on amazon. I need this resource! I wish I had found wisdom such as this years ago, I would have parented my first born much differently. I look back at some of those first years with sadness because of my actions.

  • Paula Romer

    I’m reading “Desperate” and its helping me so much.
    I would love a copy of Heartfelt Discipline. I have a difficult timr remaining patient and gracious when overt disobedience happens. With a toddler-keeping my emotions in check is a large part of the victory… Plus capturing their hearts during discipline.

  • Jen S

    Patience on everyone’s parts and curbing temper tantrums.

  • Melissa

    Loved Ann’s thoughts… ‘ Because that doctrine of perfection only feeds my unrelenting focus towards that goal of faultless children…at the cost of precious children. ‘
    Thanks for the links and resources!

  • Kristy B.

    Yay! I’ve been waiting for Heartfelt Discipline to be back in print!!!! 🙂

  • JoAnne

    Thank you so much for these resources! For a new parent of an adopted child (China) and another to come soon, I am so delighted to receive these suggested resources.

  • Jill

    After 15 years of being a mother, I’m still trying to get it right!

  • Jennifer F.

    I think I most need help in training them with compassion so that they learn compassion. It’s so easy to just get angry and yell!

  • Kristina Best

    I need to learned how to discipline better.

  • Petra

    Temper tantrums and crying when they don’t get their way

  • Kristina

    I need help with patience with a toddler

  • Guest

    One thing I’ve learned is that you can’t discipline your children without first being disciplined yourself! No “method” works without a parent’s self-control. That is a hard lesson I had to learn and I wish I knew it sooner. This seems like a good resource to have, though, and give me some extra “tools” for disciplining 🙂

  • Heather Nations

    Self-discipline…does this book cover that? 😀

  • Jennifer Freeman

    I struggle with expecting too much from my younger son, speaking kindly, and other areas. I felt like I had it together pretty well with our older son. Then a stressful season and our second son came along at the same time, and I learned that I didn’t have it together.

  • SUsan Brant

    As a grandparent I want to discipline in a manner that will encourage and train my grandchildren in the way they should go.

  • Beverley Bouchard

    My children are grown, but my first grandchild is due in April….my daughter and her husband are eager to be parents who honour God.

  • Kristen

    Thank you for the recommendations. I struggle with not knowing what to do and how to handle situations with the kids on a daily basis.

  • Miranda

    Your daughter Caroline reminds me of my daughter. My little lady is very strong willed and pushes her limits every chance she can get. Most of my mom friends do not have children like Lillian and I felt very alone until I started reading Desperate and I was able to relate to you. Thank you for that! I need help/advice/support in discipline and staying calm and loving her through it. We are currently trying to have a second one and I pray that we will find a path that works for her and I. I would be so grateful to receive this book

  • Katrina

    I think where I struggle most is in being consistent when I am tired and worn out. At those times, I just want the disobedience to stop, and I don’t want to deal with it being another training session.

  • ShannonP

    My “OneWord365” for this year is “Gentleness” … how perfect is this post and this giveaway? 🙂

  • Cassie D

    I need help staying consistent in my discipline. I forget what I’ve said we need to work on and what the consequences will be. Getting my daughter to clean up after herself right now is a huge issue around here.

  • Erica

    I am drowning in all areas 🙁

  • Dana

    Thank you Sarah Mae. This is so helpful, especially to us new mamas who are just starting out and don’t know where to go on this topic of discipline.

  • jennifer d

    Our family has just started on this same path of gentle discipline. The timing of this article is amazing!!

  • jennifer w.

    I need help as a grandmother because I learned stern authority with no patience, mercy, love, gentleness. My daughter is doing a much better job.

  • Jessica

    I need help with everything! I always thought I’d be a good mama until I became one… I stink at it 🙁

  • BecMama

    I need patience, a gentle voice, and to be consistent. We are in transition of building a house while living with Gma and GPa. My childrens behavior is out of control and I am broken before a loving God who is helping.

  • Holli Law Grove

    I need to remember consistency in discipline, even when I’m tired!

  • Nena

    Thank you for the opportunity to win this book! I tend to get frustrated easily when my kids are having a rough day. I need to work on patience when I am maybe feeling a bit frazzled myself.

  • Kristal

    I thought I was doing OK with discipline with our daughter. Then our son came along and he is so different. I keep feeling like I have no idea what I am doing with him. Maybe this book would help!

  • Amy

    Consistency! I have such a hard time being consistent when I’m tired

  • Sara

    Your post was wonderful and Inspiring! Thanks!

  • Marcy R.

    I need to learn patience & to speak works of love to my children. I want to serve my children like Jesus would.

  • Jo

    I feel like I need help in so many areas of raising up my little ones.

  • Jordana

    Feeling very overwhelmed as a mama at the moment. Need a complete overhaul on everything!

  • Jaime

    Great giveaway.

  • Jacquelyn B

    I need help with yelling at my children. I have a 2-year old, lovable, but a little wild little boy who needs me to know how to discipline him! 🙂

  • Stephanie

    I jump to conclusions. So really maybe I have some bitterness from past offenses the children have done and *think* that’s what will continue to happen. This looks like a great resource, thank you!

  • Jenni Mullinix

    I could user wisdom on appropriate expectations for toddlers…

  • Christa

    I need most help with patience, and truly LISTENING! So often, I think I brush things off so quickly without really listening….and the few minutes I take to listen could help SO MUCH!

  • Recipes Daily Bread

    I have 3 biological teenagers that I have done pretty well with consistant discipline. They love God and it shows in all their behaviors. My challenage is my 2 adopted children who were adopted later in life 4 and 7 1/2 and who now are 10 and 13 years old. They both have RAD – ractive attachment disorder. Their conscience was never developed at the critical young age of life. In fact, everything they did, seen and heard left them with no trust for anyone and without a conscience to guide them from right and wrong. This has made discipline nearly impossible because they do not trust us or anyone else. Which brings me to 1 Corthinians 13. Love never fails. It is extremely difficult to deal with children without Love ( have patience, kindness, do not keep records of wrongs, etc.) . I am praying that they will eventually see through us that God loves them. Unfortunately, we are no where near this point but I know Love Never Fails.
    I have not been able to visit blogs lately because I have been changing my blog theme to include picture index design. Visit and let me know what you think. Blessings, Diane

  • Lia

    Patience, patience, patience. And to remember that they are children – not little adults.

  • Alisa

    I need help with teaching self-control and gentleness!

  • Whitney C

    Discipline, balance, age-appropriate expectations.

  • DebW

    I’m a seasoned Mama and still mess up daily! And I have most of Sally’s books–but I’ve seen Clay’s

    • DebW

      *never seen Clay’s.

  • Lisa Warren

    Oh how I need this book!

  • Lexi

    I need to remember not to get upset with age appropriate behaviors!

  • Sara R

    I’m an only child so understanding all the ins and outs of sibling relationships is so foreign to me. I have no clue what I’m doing.

  • Elisha R Larsen

    I really need to work on giving my kids grace. My expectations are so high.

  • Christie

    I read Clay’s book when it first came out several years ago. It was so helpful to me in binging our our 4 precious daughters through adoption. I have wanted to recommend it so many times but it was out of print!
    Horray, my friend picked up a copy for me at Sally Clarkson’s Mom Conference in Dallas, and I am going to share it with a group in Houston on Saturday! 🙂

  • Melissa B

    I could use more patience and consistency. My temper is quick to rise and react, when instead I want to stop and think, like I tell my children to do.

  • Amy

    Thanks for the real life encouragement and information.

    • Amy

      With being encouraged to keep trying again and again and again.

  • Laura

    Struggling to know when its disobedience or when its age appropriate behaviors for my 2 year old.

  • Amber E

    all of it! =) Grace, understanding, consistency, etc

  • Sarah H

    I really need help with training their hearts and nurturing their individual personalities and talents as well as not striving for perfect robots.

  • Jill Susanne

    Just getting started and seem to have a pretty strong-willed little 16 month old. Just want to get perspective from other parents!

  • Nicole L.

    I need help most in the area of gentleness and patience.

  • Lori K

    I need help with this. I am sooooo hoping I win this book! My son has SPD and I get so confused on what is appropriate expectations for him and get so caught up in how others think Im too hard on him or to lax on him. He is the sweetest little guy…I get scared Im not giving him the opportunity to be who he is…

  • Janey

    Balance for consistency and efficiency.

  • Karie Kollar Preston

    I need help on how to give my children grace when they mess up.

  • Amy C

    I would love to read any of these books listed!!

  • Amy C

    i would love ideas on how to teach good character.

  • Chelsea Farnsworth

    Growing up I was trained by if I didn’t do as mom and dad wanted I was punished. I do NOT want that for my own children, I want them to do what’s right because it’s right thing to do not because they fear me or my husband. Among a host of other reasons I need help!

  • Fr. Joseph Bittle

    Balance. Balance. Balance.

  • Lisa K.

    I need help with discipline!! I tend to give in when they through fits, I know its wrong I just get sick of listening them cry and throwing fits!!

  • Darthchrista

    As we add more kiddos we are seriously thinking about how to revamp our concept of discipline. Also, as God has revealed the true meaning of grace to us, we are now able to read about extending it to our kiddos without fear of them running any more rampant with disobedience than we do with God,. (yikes!). Also, we want to reach their little hearts, we can’t change them, but we can provide a place of safety, love, and where they experience Jesus. Also, reading Desperate with a group of ladies, and finding great encouragement.

  • Rita

    I would love the opportunity to read this book!!!

  • Jamie Bagley

    I need help in determining the correct response when my toddler inflicts harm on one of his older siblings.

  • Karla

    I would love ideas on how to act like a grown up myself.

  • Lindsey

    I would love more help on teaching the habit of listening and also empathy. Thank you:)

  • Jennifer Felber

    I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year and struggle with patience and not be oming frustrated when I seem to teach the same simple things over and over!!! I have wanted this book for a little while and my husband said he’d read it with me!!! I’d love to win it!!!!

  • Melissa

    Thanks for offering this. Would love to win!

  • Dawn

    listening and respect

  • annab3ar

    i was told once by a very smart aunt of mine “you cannot pray for patience…you have to practice it”

  • Erin

    I need help having patience with my (3 yo) daughter’s daily emotional roller coaster! Dealing with the constant ups and downs are exhausting!!

  • Jennifer I.

    With three kids who are each so different there is ALWAYS something that needs attention and instruction. Thankfully God gives us grace and all 3 kids don’t NEED it at the same time! 🙂 Could always use more help training up my kiddos.

  • Lillian Gimmelli

    The place where I need most help with my kids are being more patient and not yelling or overreacting too soon. Would be truly blessed to win such an awesome book. Thanks

  • Angie

    I would love this book! Need to really work on grace!

  • Lindsay

    We don’t have any children yet, so I will take help with anything and everything!

  • Alison

    This book has been on my wishlist for awhile! I’ve really enjoyed The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally and Educating the Wholehearted Child.

  • Stephanie P

    I love this book too! I would love to give a copy to a friend or family! Thanks so much!

  • Alisha Sullivan-Hickey

    Definitely with setting boundaries 🙂

  • thewilkinsiv

    Oh, I needed this reminder today! My husband is gone for 3 weeks on military orders and yesterday was rooooouuuuugh with my almost 4 year old daughter yesterday. I went to bed (and woke up) feeling like the worst parent in the world, and God is using you today to show me grace and train me in wisdom.

  • Melony Merten

    I think the area I struggle with the most is being consistent with my kiddos. Thanks for the awesome giveaway!!

  • Melanie Rudd

    I would love to win this book! I need to give my children more grace. Thanks so much!

  • Corrine Eide

    Oh Boy! I could use all the help I can get! As a momma of 3 boys (10, 6, & 4), 1 of which has special needs (ADHD, ODD & Turrets) and another with heart disease and epilepsy I feel like we’re on a tight rope act all the time! The boys definitely need discipline, especially our 10yo, but trying to find the balance of a gentle, biblical approach has been a struggle for me.

    Thank you for the chance to win! 🙂

  • melanie

    this book has been on my wish list!! would love to learn from it.

  • jessrobpelk

    Knowing where I end and God begins…and appreciating every single trait my children have (not just the ones acceptable to me ;). I could go on and on really….

    I so appreciate your posts, book, support!! Bless you and yours!

  • Lauren Casper

    I really enjoyed your post at incourage. I was saddened and confused by the strong responses. I feel that I understood the heart behind what you were sharing and I really appreciate where you came from. I think I’m coming from the same place — a longing to parent my children the way Christ guides me: with grace, mercy, tenderness, and gentleness. Thank you! This book sounds wonderful!

  • Jen Mc

    consistency….. it’s so hard to be on top of it 24/7 with 6 little ones (7 and under!) and oh they know when mama is distracted!

  • Ashley

    I have been wanting this book! I struggle most with controlling my expectations and then my reaction to those expectations not being met. Relaxing and letting littles be littles.

  • Tara S.

    I strongly believe in gentle parenting but unfortunately many “Christian” authors do not take this approach and many attachment parenting authors are blatantly unChristian so its hard to find books that I really agree with and I definitely need advice from time to time.

  • Melissa Droegemueller

    I would love to be better at raising my girls to be more like Christ than more like who I want them to be or who the world says they should be.

  • Melanie

    Wholehearted Discipline is on my list of books to read! Thanks for the opportunity. With 5 fairly strong-willed children, discipline is a constant challenge here!

  • Laura Oller

    I have had these same thoughts over the past few months

  • melissa

    I need help in all areas!

  • Tati

    I need this most in disciplining the kids when it comes to the kids doing household chores. We just started a chore list so Im hoping this may bring some relief to my troubles.

  • Jessica Jensen

    I struggle the most with my strong-willed child. She wants to control everyone… which creates so much strife. I feel like it’s a never ending cycle that has not improved.

  • Tara Hyatt

    I need to better model Christ to my two boys. I would love to win a copy of this book, it’s been on my wish list for a while!

  • Meg

    I need patience & grace & improvement in every area of parenting.

  • Chanel

    I wish this was around when I was a child. I was admonished to always “act my age” which confused me because I didn’t understand exactly what that meant. I didn’t understand the spankings and I often felt unlovable. It’s taken a good part of my adult life to know that I am lovable. It’s amazing how spankings have such a long lasting effect.

  • Allison G

    THANK YOU for these reminders!!! I desperately needed to hear them TODAY!!!

    • Allison G

      I most need help with ideas on getting my kids to SHARE!

  • Deanna

    Patience, grace, consistency, perseverance.

  • Stacey

    Where to begin… I am an angry, tired, defeated mama. I’m pregnant with a surprise baby and we move in just over a week. I need all the help I can get!

  • Megan H.

    I think the hardest thing for me is consistency, especially since I discipline more than my husband does. He’s at work all day, so he doesn’t know how I disciplines or what I disciplined for.

  • Christa L

    I would really love to win a copy of this book. This post was just what I needed right now. Thanks for the opportunity to win.

    • Christa L

      Oh, and I need the most help with it all! I have been very discouraged in my parenting lately.

  • Laura

    I am raising my 2nd set of kids (my grandchildren) of whom I am guardian. I struggle with balance with them.

  • April J

    Where do you most need help when it comes to training your babes?

    The very things I struggle with are hardest to impart to my children. Neatness & organization, and self confidence.

  • April

    I need more patience and gentleness 🙁

  • Leah

    I would love to get a copy of this book! Thank you for doing this!

  • Heather Kroeker Plett

    i need a lot of help when it comes to listening – my kids tend to ignore me until I use my “mad voice”!

  • Kristie

    I need help with learning how to best parent my strong-willed wonder. We battle over homework so often!

  • Sarah

    Consequences! What i am doing isn’t working.

  • Lauren Servingfromhome

    I definitely need to deal with disobedience, however it needs to be dealt with, QUICKLY, instead of letting it build up to the point of frustration. As our kids get older, we need more ideas for how to discipline.

  • Jennifer

    I would also love a copy of this book! I have 5 children I am trying to raise with the help from my DH, Dear Hubby. 2 of these 5 are our nieces who have been dropped in our laps. Each child has such different personalities and I do not want to spare the rod!

  • Sean Patrick

    I need the most help, in the area of grace. And in some environments I can be very patient, but somehow my children’s disobedience (or simply not listening) can take me from 100 to near 0 in a snap. Definitely have noticed more listening, as I focus on more gentleness with delivery, given I am a divorced dad of 3 girls.

  • Lisa White

    With discipling my children; since they are now 8 – 16, we’ve got discipline down pretty well. But I worry my 16 yr old son hasn’t internalized the Word – that he just goes through the motions of worship.

  • Lisa Fischer

    I need the most help in everything, really. Reaching hearts instead of managing behavior, guiding my children in right and wrong, teaching them there is a right and wrong and doing all of it without crushing their spirit. I have been waiting for this book to be re-published! Excited! Thank you!

  • Sabrina

    I need to practise being gentle…

  • Teresa

    Oh, how I want to be a better student of my children. To better fill their tanks and train them in love.

  • AmyM

    Thank you for the giveaway, I need to get this book. Appreciate the recommendation!

  • Laura

    I need patience….

  • Morgan Conner

    follow through! and training to do chores!

  • Stacy Reese Stone

    Compassion….I often forget they are children and expect too much from them for their age. Which then leads to needing patience 😉

  • Alana

    I need to banish TV.

  • Callie Haddox Branch

    Thank you so much for sharing these!

  • Sarah

    In dealing with a very energetic 3 year old boy who often uses his hands instead of words

  • Jen

    I have been waiting for this to be back in print…yeah! Would love a copy!

  • Kathy M

    Thanks for the giveaway! Always need help with this area…

  • Julie Johnson

    Thanks for the giveaway! Always looking for positive ways to bring our children up in the Lord!

  • Kari…I just need help all over the place. This morning has been a rough morning of extreme disobedience and my lack of gentleness—that’s a recipe for disaster and I’m feeling tension.

  • Rebekah

    Wow! Thank you so much for offering this chance to receive this book. I really want to get it, as I have been encouraged by the Clarksons on many occasions, especially in this area of parenting. Even if I don’t win, this book is on my list to buy.

  • Amy L

    I need patience!!

  • Jennifer Heintzelman

    Thanks for posting your recommendations.

  • lisa

    Would love to have a copy to lend or give away, on top of my copy. I need to go back and read it again, and again, and again…

    • lisa

      I need help enforcing developmentally appropriate limits

  • Amanda Espinoza

    Sara.. I have been reading Desperate and have gleaned so much from it! Thank you for your time in putting this together and sharing your life with us. I am by myself while my hubby is deployed to Afghanistan.. I am homeschooling our 4 children… the oldest is 11 and I relate so much to what you’ve gone through with your son.. The only thing is that I haven’t got to where you are yet… I’d like to. I’d like for him to know that he is loved by God and is good… Please consider me for the book. Thank you

  • MScott


  • Kathy

    I need help in parenting them as individuals, and not grouping a 6 year old with a 4 year old. Remembering they are each their own individual person and personality.

  • Women Abiding

    Would LOVE and benefit so much from this book!

  • Emily

    Thank you for sharing your insight and these resources!

  • Ashley

    Patience is what I pray for so so often.

  • mom2six

    Looks like a great resource. Even with 6 kids I still can learn so much!

  • Colleen

    I actually have this book and love it. I would love another copy to share!

  • salsachipgirl

    Haven’t heard of this book…sounds good! Love Seasons Of A Mother’s Heart!

  • jenn

    We spoke about this very subject in MOPS. So in need of this perfect timing

  • natassa

    I live in Greece and i want this book soooooooooooooooooo much!

  • Barbie

    I need to be more consistent.

  • Megan Daniels

    I would LOVE this book!

  • Erica Cleveland

    I need help knowing when to intervene and when to let them fight it out. I have two daughters that are learning to share (I hope!) and I don’t know the best method for them so that it is something they do when they are older. I feel like a ref but when i ignore their mommy pleas for fairness so they will figure it out…that doesnt work either. Ugh! Would love to read this book!

  • Amanda f

    I think I expect too much from my child because she is so smart and I forget she is only three. I have such a hard time with patience!

  • Angel k

    I need help reaching a heart that is stubborn but at times tender towards God.

  • Michelle

    Would love to win this book! My daughter (2.5 years old) has a strong will–sure it’ll help her in the future but I’m not sure how to manage it in these toddler days!

  • Lauralee

    Would love anyone one of the books you listed:)

  • Jessica Little

    I need to know how to apply Scripture to training and discipline.

  • Allison

    I enjoyed reading your 31 days to clean, and seeing you at the California conference with Sally, and reading Desperate. Thank you for telling all the mommies to discipline with love! 🙂

  • Nelleke Plouffe

    I need the most help to know when to ignore the things that need to be done and focus on the children. Sometimes it’s obvious, when they’ve been acting out regularly. I realize then that I need to focus on them with some positive attention. I struggle to keep house, and when I try to do better with that, I feel guilty because I’m not spending more time with the kids.

  • Guest

    We talked about discipline in MOPS today, perfect timing for me! Great resources can’t wait to dig in further!

  • LindseyBell

    I need the most help being consistent. Some times I am super patient with my boys. But other days (like when I’m tired or not feeling very well), I get angry so fast. I just want to be the same person every day!

  • Magz Parmenter

    I am focusing a lot more on parenting biblically and am very interested to learn as much as I can. Thanks for these posts and resources.

  • Becky Mills

    I need help with creative ways to help encourage soft-hearted obedience, and keep myself under control when my kids are testing me! To maintain my joy even when my kids aren’t exactly ‘joyful’:)

  • Gabrielle

    I need help with patience. I’ve had the same issues as you with your beautiful 3 yr old as with my 4 yr old hyper boy and his 14 mo old brother.

  • Johanna

    Remaining consistent when I’m exhausted

  • Jolene

    Patience with my 3yr old and 1.5yr old boys!

  • Lynn

    I need help actually “being” with my children. Bringing them alongside what I’m doing and joining them in what they’re doing. Being at home with them all day is not the same as “being with them” all day. I want to be with them more.

  • Shaunta

    Thanks for such a great post. I would love to read Heartfelt Discipline. I purchased Desperate yesterday and finished chapter 1 today. It has been a blessing already!

  • Christie Kiddoo

    I need help with patience with my 3 year old. His little body is sooooooo high energy for him to receive direction from me it takes him a painfully long time to slow down enough to listen and obey. I would love some practical advise on how to help him slow down and train a bit of self control in him.

  • Connie

    As a homeschooling mom, I need to set healthy boundaries for when I am available to my kiddos and when I can ‘take a break’ in order to be more available to them at a later time.

  • Christina

    Learning how to teach my 5 year old that listening to what I tell her to do is good, but that her behavior doesn’t make me or God love her more or less and does not maker her a better person.

  • Jewelly Hart

    I need help with…everything!!! I need practical advice on how to discipline in a gentle manner.

  • Chara Shopp

    Encouraging my husband to train in love & not walk in discipline

  • Jen K.

    I need advice on talking back.

  • Kali

    I think in being consistent, and knowing where it’s most important to put my focus and effort into being consistent… I’m such a “random romantic” type – good for some things, but not so great when it comes to organization and consistency :-p

  • Ruth

    I need to be more consistent and patient!

  • Julie

    This book would be so helpful for me to read.

  • Amy

    Breaking the urge within myself to respond with my heart and not with the desire to control is my biggest challenge.

  • Samantha A

    Everything! Remaining patient and gentle, how to discipline a very determined little one when it doesn’t seem like anything is working…

  • Joyce and Norm

    Consistency in consequence

  • Lis

    My son may comply but he does so as he is huffing and puffing his way out of the room or muttering under his breath. I don’t want obedience simply for the sake of having it, but for him to *want* to help others.

  • Kimberly

    Being consistent.

  • Katie

    To respond in kindness and not just react in anger.

  • Sheri P

    I would love to win this book!

  • Teish

    Not yelling. I grew up in a home with a LOT of yelling. I work very hard at not letting that be my immediate response when the kids do something wrong. I haven’t got it right all the time yet. I do make it a point to apologize after yelling. Apologizing is important!

  • Julie Wilson

    Being consistent… Knowing when to give grace and when to discipline… disciplining BEFORE I get frustrated/angry

  • Elizabeth

    I need patience with my kids and resolve as to how I am going to handle situations. I can be inconsistent because I question myself about how to handle situations.

  • Jessica

    I would love to win this book!

  • Michelle

    I would love to read this book. I also love Season’s of a Mother’s heart!

  • kellyc

    I would love to win this book! My hardest part of discipline is me not getting frustrated. =(

    cooperkelly4@yahoo dot com

  • Karen j. Rojas

    This looks awesome.

  • Chrissy

    I need more patience and to learn to give my children more grace.

  • Bethany

    I want to be more gentle and patient instead of being a reactionary when they are disobedient. I don’t want to be out of control as well.

  • Leah

    Speaking kind words instead of reacting out of impatient and frustration.

  • Rachel Anna

    My daughter is about to turn 18 months old and is beginning to assert herself…I could use all the help I can get!

  • PFGeld

    I need to work on always exhibiting patience.

  • Kristina

    Thank you for sharing so honestly. I struggle with trying to expect immediate obedience and the constant punishment it requires to be consistent. I feel guilty and don’t think my strong-willed 5 year old daughter is really learning what is most important.

  • Rejoicing Mama- Charise

    Reminders. Sweet reminders of God’s truths for the nitty gritty. I have four children, eight and younger and I am learning day by day of God’s grace and His way. I have personally begged Clay to reprint this book and I’m so thankful it is completed! Thank you Sarah for giving us this opportunity!

  • Tabitha

    I just found your blog this evening and I have to tell you it has already been SUCH a blessing to hear another Christian mom who struggles with REAL struggles. I was telling a girlfriend today that I was seriously considering taking my 3 yr old into the doctor to have her hearing checked because for the last three days I just CANNOT get her to listen to me! Winning this giveaway and getting ANY new resources for disciplining would be such a blessing!

  • Tanya W

    Being kind in how I speak and compassionate to my kids even when I feel frustrated and angry.

  • Lisa

    Being compassionate and not expecting perfection from them…when I fail so miserably at obedience each day!

  • Naomi Johnson Matyas

    I’m a new mommy and my little man is quite the handful. Go go go all the time, very strong personality and temperament. I love it but it does make it hard when it comes to discipline. Cant wait to check these books out!!

  • Dwana

    I have thre girls and the smallest has the strongest will I have ever seen.

  • Angie D

    The timing of this article is impeccable! We have been struggling concerning the discipline of our children, never having the right solution. As our oldest graduates next year, I see where I have failed as a mother in discipline and am making the same mistakes with our other children. I feel as the children grow, I am having to constantly learn how to deal with discipline issues.

  • Joanna

    I most need help when my strong-willed three-year old becomes enraged rather than accepting a calm and rational discipline approach. It then seems that, because of his obvious tantrum and display of anger, a more severe punishment should be applied, yet any action on my part only escalates the problem. I so need grace and wisdom!

  • Kimberly

    More patience and applying scripture when disciplining. With twin three year olds, it seems nothing we do works…but we know grace and patience needs to be our ultimate goal. How to do that?

  • Tina

    I definitely need more patience and guidance on how to discipline. I appreciate the encouragement you give, it’s wonderful to know that I am not the only one struggling in this area! Thank you!

  • Dorothy

    Thanks for the encouragement you give! Being consistent especially when I’m tired is hard for me.

  • Melanie H

    Patience is not always my virtue!

  • Samantha

    I need so much help in consistent discipline and correction of my almost 2 year old twins.

  • Laura M.

    Your first post on this topic came to life in my house. My 2 year old was pulling on a desk that could fall and hurt him. Normally I would be very upset, yell and smack his hand. Instead I got down on his level and in a calm voice explained why mommy and daddy did not want him doing that. What happened next floored me. He hugged me and said sorry! My precious baby boy trusted me. Thank you!

  • lori

    I have been blessed by your blog posts and am encouraged in my walk as a follower of Christ and mother through your words.

  • Susan

    Thanks for being willing to share… Would love to win this book!

  • Joanna Moore

    I need help with bring gentle with them instead of angry!

  • Adrienne Falkena

    Great recommendations! Thanks for the post.

  • Katie

    What a great giveaway, I really appreciate these posts they are a sweet reminder.

  • Amy

    I love both Ann & Sally!! Hoping to win a copy of the book! =)

  • sara Karr

    i certainly need to to how to gently discipline my child esp my s trong willed and doing it in a loving and heartfelt way

  • Joni Voight

    Great recommendations! Thanks for posting!

  • Stacie

    I definitely need to learn how to speak love. Stop yelling and give more grace.

  • Heidi Mitchell

    Thanks for the reading recommendations!

    • Heidi

      I need help knowing how to discipline firmly and gently at the same time.

  • Rébecca

    I have heard so much about this book and would love to read it, but at this time feel like I have already bought too many parenting books… It would be gret ro win a copy!

  • Tiph Chatzistamatis

    I need to be more diligent about drawing he truth of Christ, and her need for a savior, into our everyday lessons.

  • Ashley

    My baby is so strong willed, and I know exactly who she got that from (you’re reading her post now!). I need help with what works, with what will get to the root of the problem, and help ‘fix’ the problem. Her behavior has gotten really bad lately, and my husband and I are at a lost for what to do!

  • Cheryl

    I have zero patience and am always yelling at my kids for everything. I long to become the mother God created me to be.

  • SarahJean

    Just what is expected of me? I guess I mean, am I doing it right?

  • Tiffany

    I need to remember to be in the moment with my children and not let my mind wander to my running to do list in my head. I need to focus and really savor these moments because they go by so quickly!

  • Kristy

    I would love to read this book!

  • R G

    I think just finding a balance with regards to encouragement. That is, I remember the irritation of empty praise as a child when I was only doing what was expected or normal, and was showered with ‘good jobs’ and what have you. I longed to really please someone, and not just be given flattery. In my quest to avoid doing this to my children, I would love to find a way to show them I appreciate their efforts without giving the impression that they are only loved based on their performance, yet it be meaningful, not fake. Hope that makes sense.

  • Tobey Fast Rogowsky

    Remaining calm and finding methods of discipline other than yelling

  • S

    My boys’ mouths have been a bit out of control. I remind them, pray for them, and remind them.

  • Aaren

    I have 4 boys and would love to read this book!

  • Missy

    Not threatening…and remembering that discipline starts with training.

  • Shan Walker

    Patience and remembering to make each day special!

  • Ashley

    Would love advice on what to do in different situations and reading more about the rod in scripture.

  • Heather H

    Patience for sure. I need to think about it from their perspective.

  • Stephanie

    I need help with patience!!

  • Michelle Mills

    I need to get better at planning and preparing for the following days…leaving adequate time for the truly important things!

  • Crystal

    I really struggle with keeping calm with my little ones

  • Kmama

    Help diciplining with LOVE not exasperation. Out of six, this last guy has my attitude in the gray zone most of the time. “I” wouldn’t want to be yelled at, yet…

  • Beth Yenca

    proud mama of 3 rough and tumble boys who seem to drive me more up the wall than anything. we recently had our 1st daughter and i struggle to be the example of a good mom for all of my children. yelling, frustration, wanting to go to my room just so i can calm my self down before i say something i will regret…it’s so hard….i don’t know how my mom did it….

  • M. Haun

    Consistency is a big thing I struggle with, I also tend to raise my voice when speaking to the kids when I’m frustrated.

  • jen

    I struggle with yelling a lot.

  • Laura

    I find myself so frustrated especially at my oldest son. It seems like my disciplining is all for naught, and I’m wanting to find other solutions. My son is becoming angry, and I don’t want that.

  • Hope

    I know that I find myself wanting to always be calm and respond kindly to my daughters, but too often I feel like they get my frustration instead.

  • Paige

    Yelling happens too much around here

  • Ada Burgess Handley

    I would LOVE a copy of this book!

  • Jess W

    Patience and self control!

  • Mirinda Lynn Dawe

    I expect perfect obedience a lot of the time- I need to give more grace, as well as my husband. We are just too hard on our kiddos!

  • Genevieve Thul@Turquoise Gates

    Raised in a Fundamentalist Christian “church”, I am new to the gentle Christian discipline movement. Any and all help is desired! This book looks very good…I will buy it if I don’t win it!!

  • Silvina Leonnetti

    I think slowing down and seeing the big picture is the hardest part. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day battles…

  • maureen

    Training? Oh, is that what’s wrong? Hahaha! 🙂

    The place where I most need help is in not just hearing the Word, but doing it. Love in application. And getting up off my lazy derriere to show by example how things ought to be done. More hugs and words of encouragement and times for just listening, with interest, to the dreams of these little ones that grow up into big ones over night. That’s all.

  • Erika

    Looks like a great book!

  • Erin Myers

    I need patience! lol

  • Darcey Zahaykevich

    Patience. It is really hard to be so with 4 kids all going in 4 different directions.

  • Magen Hawkinson

    I need to remember that, ultimately, the struggles are heart issues, not behavioral issues.

  • Ruth

    Balance between working from home, homeschooling, training, playing, housework and hubby!

  • Carrie Helen

    I have a baby on the verge of toddlerhood, and need to know how to recognize when “discipline” should start, and what it should look like for one so young? I get conflicting advice from books, friends, etc. and am at a loss.

  • Amy

    I need to keep working on myself and my patience with the process.

  • Jennifer

    I need a way to have my husband and I on the same page. We were both had the same basic discipline style from when we were kids but listening to Sally and Clay has challenged me to look at that more closely. Now we don’t see eye to eye on the disciplining issue which makes it difficult.

  • Darla

    could’ve/should’ve 25 years ago… but never too late to learn 🙂

  • Malinda Wimsatt Linstid

    These look like great resources – can’t wait to dig into them!

  • Rachel S.

    Just beginning the training process with our children.

  • Kathy J. McNiel

    I need to learn how to train them while still having patience with their imperfections.

  • Erika

    I most need help in learning the best way to respond to them, esp. when they do something wrong. How do I make it into a training/learning experience?

  • Sarah Speer Scales

    Oh, looks WONDERFULLY needed! 🙂 I need help with patience and knowing how to reach their hearts not just their behavior.

  • sara

    This list is wonderful… I’m so thankful to have great resources to turn to for gentle parenting!

    • sara

      oops – where do i most need help? with being patient and learning to give of myself over and over and over again 🙂

  • Jamie

    With 3 little ones, ages 4.5, 2, & 8 months, I need most help when it comes to varying styles of discipline. Also, pumping up the love to meet the emotional needs of each babe so the discipline doesn’t become the norm…

  • Esther E Hawkins

    This is wonderful! I had a rough day today with the kids. I love your comment about treating them as I would want to be treated.

  • Valerie Godin

    I need help with keeping a quiet and gentle spirit and also with getting to those heart issues .

  • Hollie

    Thanks for this great giveaway!

  • Melissa Rogers

    Would love this!!

  • Reagan

    I need help in controlling my own anger, getting to my child’s heart, and applying consequences intended to correct and guide my children.

  • Gena

    Yes, please

  • Bethw

    Did you send a notice to the winners? Congratulations ladies!

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