What To Say To A First-Time Mom - Sarah Mae
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What To Say To A First-Time Mom

Today’s post is from my dear friend, Mandy. She has a beautiful, passionate soul and I know you will adore her and her wise words. Enjoy!

IMG_6008Maybe you had your first child years ago. Maybe you haven’t had any children yet. Maybe you have no desire to have children. We’re all in different places in life.

But I bet you know someone who is pregnant. {Just a guess}

I’m 20 weeks pregnant with my first child. I’m half-way through the 40 week journey; half-way to life as I know it changing overnight, half way to a world that is so different than the quiet, clean, organized, 8+ hour sleep a night-filled world that I live in today.

And I’m scared.

You see, surprisingly, I’m not really scared about pushing the baby out {although I’m not quite sure I believe it is physically possible. I mean really, how can that be?}. I’m not scared about sleepless nights, breast feeding, or figuring out what my baby needs when he/she cries. I’m not scared about loving the baby; I know it’ll just come naturally. I’m not scared about buckling the baby in the car seat right, or SIDS. I’m not scared about any of those things.

I’m scared about making Christ known to my child.

You see, I grew up in a home where love overflowed. I grew up in a home where we dressed nicely and went to church on Sundays. I grew up in a home with amazing parents.

But I didn’t grow up knowing Christ.

And so above all, I wonder how to raise children zealous for Him.

I wonder how I raise children hungry for God alone, when I myself lose sight of my God.

And I wonder how to raise humble children, when I myself struggle to live humbly.

I recently overheard a close friend of mine having a deep hearted discussion with her third child, her “wild child”. He was disobeying her, and she pulled him aside to discuss what was going on. As I listened to her kind and gentle words, I was blown away. She said things I would have never thought to say. She brought Christ to the center of the issue, allowing her son the opportunity to confess his sin to both her and God right there in that moment. She made it about Him. She brought her son to the foot of the cross right there before me, standing in a hallway with people buzzing by.

And I thought, how can I ever do that? Her words were so gentle, so loving, so Christ-centered…very much the opposite of how I would’ve handled his disobedience in that moment.

So I asked her. I asked her how she learned to do that, how she learned to get to the heart of her son’s sin. There in that hallway I told her my fears, that I won’t be able to do that for this budding child inside of me.

She smiled.

She told that mothering is a process, a process that doesn’t occur overnight. She said that it will come through His teaching, and that I don’t need to fear. She told me that she wasn’t always that calm or collected, that she does mess up, but that God {and her son} give her grace when she falls. She reminded me that He fills in the gaps, even the gaps that we don’t realize are there.

And above all, she reminded me that He, the Creator of my child, loves him/her more than I ever will, or ever can.

And so, as I {and the handy app on my phone} count down the days to the birth of this sweet babe within me, I cling to the words of my friend. I cling to the truth that she spoke over me that morning.

He loves this child with an everlasting love. I need not be afraid.

If you know a budding first-time mama, will you tell her that? Will you remind her that mothering is a process, and that you don’t always get it right? Will you reminder her that God will fill in the gaps of her failures, and that He can even use those failures to mold her heart {and the hearts of her little ones}? Will you embrace her and calm her fears?

Don’t allow that mother-to-be to walk around with such fears in her heart.  Your love and support can help set her free from the fear of failing as a parent.

You can read more of Mandy’s writing at her blog, MandyScarr.com!

mandyMandy is a lover of deep relationships, theological discussions, and peanut butter. She feels called to ministry, seeking to share with women of the freedom she walks in because of her relationship with Jesus. She and her husband live in the beautiful suburbs of Washington, D.C. She writes at mandyscarr.com. You can connect with Mandy further on Facebook and Twitter.

Need more encouragement in motherhood? You might like Desperate – Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe!

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  • http://crystalstine.blogspot.com/ Crystal

    Mandy, this post is beautiful. What I’ve learned since being a mom? Motherhood is humbling. But those holes God pokes in my pride leave more room for Him to shine through. Love your heart, sending you hugs 🙂

    • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr Mandy Scarr

      Thank you, friend! People keep telling me to be prepared to be humbled. Here’s hoping I’m ready for that 😉 Thanks for the hugs. xoxo

      • http://crystalstine.blogspot.com/ Crystal

        You will also learn to laugh… a lot…at things that will surprise you 🙂 It’s not all scary & serious!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kazzeo Kazzeo Kz

    I’d say, it’s a wonderful journey with your kids and enjoy yourself. It’s like nothing you’ll ever experience.

    • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr Mandy Scarr

      I am so excited for the journey! Thanks for the encouragement 😉

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    Beautiful, Mandy! You brought tears to my eyes. Your friend’s message is mine as well. We learn how to mother day by day, we fall, we fail, we ask forgiveness, and move forward. Having older moms in your life who can offer wisdom and encouragement, plus those occasional hugs of understanding that you’ll just need some days, is a must.

    Enjoy the journey, and I am sure you will be a great mom!

    • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr Mandy Scarr

      Kim,
      Thank you for your encouragement 🙂 I will certainly cling to older moms who have gone before me. It’s goi g to be a wild ride, I’m sure! 🙂

  • MJ

    As a first time mom of a six month old, I’d say take every extra minute you need. What do I mean? If you are running late (as you will be almost always now!) don’t rush. Take that extra minute and enjoy it. Hold your baby one extra minute. Sleep another minute – or two!!

    Everyone said it would go so quickly and I’d just smile and nod my head, thinking how it seems like the sleepless nights, endless feedings, etc. would never end. But, already, she’s sleeping through the night and eating bigger, less frequent meals. She’s such a big girl 🙂 It’s all going by so fast and I wish I’d taken those extra minutes…

    I’m already part of the group that says I can’t wait to have another!

    • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr Mandy Scarr

      MJ,
      I love this, thank you! I’m sure it’s easy to wish away the beginning when you feel like you’re in a fog. I don’t enjoy sleepless nights so I’m sure ill be there with you. I will try my hardest to take your advice and savor each moment! Thank you for your wise words!

  • Charissa

    beautiful words of truth my friend…wisdom indeed.

  • http://gospelhomemaking.com/ Amy Clark Scheren

    I have great kids. I really do. But I could list twenty different faults they have that I really should be working on. I could list ten times that many failures of my own. Somehow, God’s grace covers my (many) shortcomings as a parent and eventually smooths out the rough edges on my children. There are so many things I wish I would have known or done when my children were little, but I have to trust God to cover over all those past sins and flaws, too. God’s grace is sufficient. There is no other situation in life that will teach YOU about grace and faith quite like parenting will.

    • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr Mandy Scarr

      I love hearing this from a veteran Mama. Thank you for your wisdom!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=666555285 Elisa Pulliam

    Oh Mandy, I love your writing and the way you capture reality with a tenderness in your heart and soul. I can wait to see how your journey into motherhood will transform you even further and as God reveals to you the amazing ways you can be zealous for Him in this new ministry endeavor!

    • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr Mandy Scarr

      You’re so sweet Elisa! Thank you for your sweet words!

  • http://youaremygirls.com/ Jennifer Camp

    Mandy, oh your heart is beautiful. Your sweet child is so held already . . .and what a delight you are to the Father as you already entrust him/her to His care. So grateful for your sweet words, friend.

    • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr Mandy Scarr

      Thank you for your encouragement, Jennifer!

  • Marissa

    Mandy – I feel like I could have been the one writing this. I grew up in a Catholic household so I knew when to kneel and sit and what to say during mass, but I never really knew Christ. I’m still learning about him now and I struggle to think of how I’ll teach my daughter to love Him. Thank you for this post!

    • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr Mandy Scarr

      Marissa,
      I’m so glad you could relate! Through Him we can do this 😉

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