Merit Doesn't Make a Mother - Sarah Mae
Hi, I'm Sarah.
Join me in keeping on and beginning again!

Merit Doesn’t Make a Mother

For When You Feel Like You're Failing as a Mom

I had a boyfriend in college who told me he could never see me as a mom.

I asked him why he thought that, and he just said, “I don’t know. I just don’t see it in you.” His flippant words hurt. I had always wanted to be a mom, and this person who I cared so much for didn’t think I was worthy of that title.

Fast forward to now, and even though I have three beautiful children who I am absolutely in love with, his words creep up on me. Hidden behind the spoken words I hear, “You’re not good enough to be a mom.”

Some nights I lay awake with anxiety, spinning with thoughts of all I mess up in and all the ways I could do better. I just don’t want to regret my mothering years; I want to do right by my children.

Then the morning comes and everything feels new and I know I can begin again.

And I remember, I am not enough. I am not adequate. I will fail in a million and one ways. But merit doesn’t make a mother. God makes a mother.

Read the rest over at (in)courage today!

Want to win a copy of Desperate for you and a friend?

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Today I’m giving away six copies of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe! There will be THREE winners, so you are entering to win one for you and one for a friend! WOOT! Just fill out the form below! By the way, the Kindle version of Desperate is only $1.99 right now!!! Get it HERE!

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  • Guest

    Loved this book! Motherhood is so much more enjoyable when I found my identity in Christ, dared to be imperfect, and learned to loosen up and be more present in my interactions with my kids. I love them to pieces and am honored God has given me this great responsibility. It is so rewarding!

  • Laura

    Thanks for the chance to win, I love reading your blog. And congrats on the new book as well!

  • Maddi

    Thank you for the opportunity to enter to win a book =) I really enjoyed hearing you speak at Chap and I’m definitely going to start following you and reading your books. You were so encouraging and had some good practical advice. God bless!

  • Nicole B

    I have the ebook version and I absolutely loved it! I would love to have a hard copy to read through again and highlight.

  • Natasha Metzler

    Just over a year ago we were blessed with our first child– a bouncing, delightful 8 year old, who came to us through the miracle of adoption. Motherhood is beautiful.

  • Angela Parlin

    Oh, I soooo agree. What did that young guy know anyway? 🙂 I love when you share about motherhood and think you’re a pretty amazing Mom! I never thought I was the Mom type. My sisters were more motherly, and I was sure I would be terrible at it. But here I am loving these 4 day after day, even homeschooling!!!, and convinced that Motherhood is the greatest gift under heaven…except on the days that are a struggle. But even then I remember I’m not enough, like you said. But God made me Mama to these 4, and He sees me through. In all the places where I lack, He’ll work for good in their lives there, too. Same as He did for my imperfect Mom. Thanks for encouraging me with this!

  • Becky Boerner

    I love seeing what God is doing in my kid’s lives. I became a mom on mother’s day.

  • Stephanie

    Loves and hugs from the kiddos.

  • Sandi Wood

    thanks for being transparent!

  • Tiffani Anderson

    This is so what I needed today! One of the best things about motherhood for me is watching my daughter’s sense of humor develop. She’s so funny and tries to make us laugh, just like her Daddy.

  • Anne S.

    Great post! One thing I have learned in motherhood is to finally realize that it’s not all up to ME as the mom to get everything right in mothering our children! Christ has never called us to be the only shaping influence in our children’s lives but oh how we mamas put that burden on ourselves! From a head knowledge I knew this early on, but oh how it took my heart knowledge so much longer to truly get this. And oh what freedom it is to let go of trying to be the perfect mom! Only Christ is perfect, we will fail, and that’s okay because He’s in the redemption business! We can be our biggest stumbling block if we don’t grab hold of this! Happy Mother’s Day!

  • mjeaustin

    Motherhood has stretched and challenged me more than any other job or task I’ve undertaken (and I tend to do “hard” things just so I can say. I did/can do it).

  • Lindsay

    Introduction to motherhood has been a challenging journey for myself. I appreciate the advice, insight, and wisdom provided through your blog posts. I have heard wonderful reviews about your book. Looking forward to reading it one day.

  • Lydia

    Thank you for encouraging moms! We all need grace as we go through our journey as mothers. I am so blessed to have 4 kiddos who call me “mom”. Thankful for His mercies that are new each day! I never want to try to do this without God’s help. May I always seek Him and lean upon Him every step of the way. God bless you Sarah Mae.

  • KHoward

    Thank you! I appreciate the reminder that God chose me to be the mommy for my 2 precious babies (13 & 4) and that in so choosing He trusted me to be the best mommy for them. I too often feel the sting of failing to be enough for them. What gift to be reminded that in God, with His help & divine guidance, I am enough. Blessings to you & all of the readers.

  • Jessica H

    I love the “good days” like when we had frozen yogurt for dinner and found a vivid rainbow on our way how so we stopped in a field for pictures. Hoping for more good days!

  • Maria Mayer

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