How Are You? Life is Painful and Weird - Sarah Mae
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How Are You? Life is Painful and Weird

My neighbor came to pick up her daughter the other night. “Hi!” I said.

“Hi, how are you?” She said? “I’m alright, you?” “Good.”

And so it goes, “Good”, “Fine”, “Alright.”

Nothing wrong with saying the easy surface thing because who has time for the truth?

But I took a walk today and I thought, I don’t want to say the surface thing anymore. It’s boring and it doesn’t give any opportunity for grace or relating or freedom to be vulnerable and let someone else be vulnerable.

So, this is what I’m going to start saying:

How are you?

“I’m okay, things have been pretty good lately. Still dealing with marriage intimacy issues, waiting for God to bind up that mess. Better than it used to be. I’m up many nights with anxiety, fretting over my kids – “am I doing enough? Am I praying for them enough? Time is running out for me to teach them!” Still battling the comparison monster, you know, not feeling good enough, equipped, smart enough, etc. I was feeling depressed on Tuesday, couldn’t get out of my chair. Everything felt dark. Those days come every now and then. I cry over my mom sometimes, the grief just hits me and I’m not interested in stuffing it, so it just is. I actually cried in front of the neighborhood kids the other day as I was writing about her. I figure if anything they’ll see normal grief and maybe have a story to tell about their emotional neighbor one day. I make for a good memoir for someone.

But the thing is, I really am okay, today, right now. I know God will deal with this stuff. I know that tomorrow I might face something hellish. Sometimes life just hurts and I just have to sit in it, the pain. It comes and goes. I’m not fighting it, just sitting with it. “Here God, do something with this. I’ll wait. I love you. I trust you.” Most of the time I think I trust God. Sometimes I cry out and wonder, “are you even there?'”

That’s a lot of words. Maybe I’ll just say, “Okay and not okay. Life is painful and weird.”

Maybe my neighbor or the nice lady at the church desk doesn’t have time to hear all that truth, but that’s okay, I’ll say it anyway because maybe it will loosen something in her. Maybe it will show her that it’s okay to be “not fine” and to just be in the tangle of life and still be okay. Painfully, vulnerably, okay. 

okayestmom

How are you today? Let me know in the comments and you’ll be entered to win this “World’s Okayest Mom” shirt.

Love to you,

SM

P.S. It’s okay if you’re also feeling awesome today. Those days are my favorite.

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  • Amy Wheeler Bounds

    I am struggling. Struggling with my house, my family, my faith… Some days I wish for a magic wand to make it all better. I know that God has a plan, but I can’t see it.

  • http://www.laurietomlinson.com Laurie Tomlinson

    Love this and need to do it more.

    I’m okay today. Dealing with manipulation/passive aggression from my mother, but choosing not to engage. Instead of all the work on my list, I’m playing with my son, and he just backed up to me to sit and play in my lap for 5 seconds before he was off again 🙂 So relaxing.

  • michelle krol

    Ahh it’s a struggle, and I have found myself thinking the same, we are not all good, fine, ok, alright, so thank you for being real and honest because you right that does give someone permission somehow to be themselves. I find when I do answer real then I get back pity or awkwardness (yuck), and well it isn’t even stuff really that deep ha! I just crave a world where we could just be real with one another. Thank you for doing that!!

  • Sarah Ortmayer

    Overwhelmed and under-qualified. Two words that describe how I am doing the last few weeks, months. We are following God’s lead to move out of a comfortable home into a part of town I don’t even feel comfortable driving through alone. I have spent so many nights awake lately questioning if this is what God really said…did he really ask this of us, because I don’t feel qualified in the slightest and nothing in our life right now makes this easy. We have 4 small children, overwhelmed comes with the day-to-day and I don’t feel like I can handle much beyond it. Our house has been on the market for nearly 4 months, much longer than we expected it to take, which only adds to the frustration and the questioning if this is the right move. To add to the confusion, we found out we are unexpectedly expecting our 5th baby…the timing with moving couldn’t be worse in my mind- creating anxiety and tension between my husband and I. I’m exhausted, nauseated, stretched too thin and God has been pretty silent though it all lately. Overwhelmed, un-qaulified, defeated, exhausted…that is how I am. But, somewhere deep in my soul hope moves so slightly, small moments of it, just enough to keep me moving forward despite all the heaviness in my heart right now.

  • Brittaney

    We are struggling with depression and anxiety in our home and working overtime. Little synchronicities remind me that we are cared for and loved and not doing this life thing alone. That’s what I will hold to. Thank you for your vulnerability.

  • Carrie

    I’m okay too. Getting nervous about the new school year as I’m adding another homeschool student. I’m missing my hubby because work has just become extremely busy and will be that way for a while. This also makes my days as a mother more exhausting because I’m at it alone. I struggle BIG time with getting the house clean ish. I’m not sure if it’s not having enough time or half laziness and not wanting to do it but my house just isn’t clean and I hate it. I’m also thinking constantly about whether I’m being an okay mom. I want to shape them, train them and love them just the right way but am I succeeding? *sigh Gosh it feels good to be honest! Thank you Sarah Mae!!! Love you!

  • Ashley Pullen

    I am honestly not too sure how I am at the moment. Life has been a struggle lately; one thing happening after the other. It all started snowballing when my husband lost his job due to the financial situation where we were. He has a new one, and we are still blessed to be in ministry at an amazing church. But, the road since getting here has been rocky- our parked vehicle was hit by a drunk driver, 2/3 kids had to have surgery, everyone has battled sickness, etc. We start our homeschool year in a couple of weeks, and I am just praying that this will be the start of some normalcy for us. So, I guess I am not okay, but I will be. 🙂 Thank you so much for always being transparent and REAL. I so appreciate women who are real and not painting a false picture of perfection.

  • Ashley Hebert

    I’m ok but not ok. My husband (Assoc Pastor) was unexpectedly let go from the church we’ve only been at for a year. It hurts bc of the way it was handled, but I know all too well bc of my own shortcomings that people mess up. I’m struggling in the daily emotional fight to extend grace – to myself when I just need to cry it out, to my husband who is trying his best to live out the faith we teach others about, too the church body and elders bc Jesus said it best “they know not what they do.” God’s got this. He’s good no matter what. He’s not surprised. So in the waiting I’m ok.

  • Ashley Neeson

    Feeling the overwhelm with the kids, the hubs, life in general. Spending any extra time I can muster in prayer for guidance and strength and for the courage to let go of my anxiety and stress and let God do His thing. If say we’re getting there, and that’s ok because it’s legit progress.

  • Lisa Suit

    My husband just quit his job (our only income) last week without any sort of notice or plan; and we have no savings. Clinging desperately to the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hillsides!

  • Leeann Hinzman

    I’m glad you wrote this. I’ve said this to my husband recently how people ask how you are, but frankly don’t really care to hear the truth. They’re too busy, I get it. But I’m tired of the formality too. Be you, be real. Be blessed, Leeann

  • Laura Wegener Paxton

    I’m okay. I’m sad. Others’ trauma is heavy to carry (I’m a therapist), and going back to work after 16 years is HARD. I miss my son who is in Virginia. I miss my daughter who is flying in from Guatemala this evening. I have a family-shaped hole in my life. I have 4 more kids at home that keep me hopping. I am (somewhat) angry with the military and God right now over the direction we *though* we were headed that ended up not working out. I’m just plain TIRED.

  • Alyssa Donovan

    Thank you for being honest. Life is *hard* right now. Family and friend issues and pain I never dreamt of, we live in a house that is too small (850 sq ft for 6, soon to be 7). Husband just got a new job. Thankful for the mercies shown to us though, a super fun opportunity just opened up for us, our family is healthy (physically) and I’m looking forward to starting homeschooling this fall.

  • http://www.hesowsandshesews.com GretchenR

    I am ridiculously hormonal and tired, 3 weeks postpartum. I’m stuck in this cycle of feeling incredibly guilty whenever my husband helps me, or gives up something he loves for me, but still needing his help despite all of it. I feel guilty for being needy, and guilty for needing help, and guilty whenever someone reaches out in love. I’m trying to pray about what God is trying to show me in this, and wondering if it’s some deeply imbedded issue in me…or just hormones working their way out, combined with sleep deprivations. So you know…okay.

  • Sarah Leach

    Honestly… Feeling lost in my marriage. Struggling with anger in my heart. Anxious over my oldest kid starting kindergarten this month – how do I let my baby go out into the big world!? Trying my best to follow Christ with all my heart I still find myself torn daily between the spirit and the flesh. I just want to be a good mom and a good wife. That’s all.

  • ChefLezlie

    Thank you for opening this door to honesty. Today I am not feeling well and I am a bit cranky. I just snapped at my 13 year old because she want to spend time with her Gran and was asking my permission. (How many 13 year olds seek out time with their grandparents and then are thoughtful enough to ask first?) But then I heard the loving voice of my Savior encourage me that I can do better. Because I didn’t hear condemnation, which is what I usually hear, I know I will be ok.

  • Cecile Bishara Bibawy

    This hits home. Amid a year-long dark struggle that is not over, I grieve over the loss, rejection, neglect, and pain from a life with my schizophrenic mother and sister. Lately, I’ve been deeply lonely and urgently longing for a real mom to mother me and a best girlfriend, you know, the kind I could hold hands and skate around an ice rink with. I’m not okay, but I am, because God keeps comforting me in quiet time and through His word. He is good always. He is always my Friend… and my mother.

  • Beth Everson

    Thank you for being honest! I’m overwhelmed. Finances are super tight, house is messy and unorganized, school starts in a week and my kids needs shoes, supplies, and clothes. I’ve failed to show my husband that he has my support and I feel like my spiritual life is falling apart. Everytime I feel this way, I know there’s always a light at the end and He always takes care of us!

  • Es

    This is something God has been convicting me of as well. I’m doing okay today, too

  • http://www.sara.rrusselljr.com/ Sara Russell

    Better than I was yesterday. My kids have been hitting every nerve all week. My anger had started to seep out and I was feeling stretched way to thin. Last night though my husband and I managed to get a date night out, and this afternoon all four kids are napping at the same time. These two things have given me room to breathe. The last week I was finding it hard to even find two minutes of quiet alone to read a verse and pray. But the interrupted time still helped to sustain me, and these moments of quiet alone allow me to fully recharge. So today is better, not perfect, I am still weary (4 kids age 1-6,) but better. Thanks for asking.

  • AnnMarie Tibbitts

    I’m alright today. Trying to see the gifts around me and focus on those. But I’m tired. Trying not to have unspoken expectations for the day- for my kids- for my husband.
    Thank you so much for being real.
    You are beautiful!

  • Elizabeth Bone

    I’m feeling refreshed and thankful while at church camp. The week didn’t start out that way and I was at the end of myself just asking the Lord for help with several things. He heard me and today He has provided rest for my soul. Especially while my toddler sleeps right now 😉

  • Kristal Woods

    I’m ok today. I’ve had a difficult week with the kids fighting and me losing my cool, which makes me feel like a failure. Plus the pms mood swings. Ugh. Today seems better so far, so I’m thankful for that.

  • Coye

    I’m surviving. My son was diagnosed with leukemia two months ago and the reality and emotions are finally allowing themselves to surface. When I go to my prayer journal to pray over him and my husband and me and our marriage and our future, all I have to write is “I trust you through this season of Gaiges cancer” and BOOM…tears. Plus I struggle with crying in front of people because, after all, it’s been two months already and I start thinking I should be over this phase of grief and processing. plus I’m just really tired, like, all the time.

    Thanks for reminding us it’s Okay to admit that we are ok!

  • TheHeSaidSheSaidExp

    I’m hurting and tired and stressed and scared. We have been walking with my chronic health issues, at least in diagnosis and treatment phase, and we’ve had new things come up that are scary. I’m tired of feeling bad and I’m scared for what the future holds. I really want to have another baby but I’m scared I won’t be able to have one. After ten years of trying we lost our first baby four months before I got pregnant with my miracle boy and we had another loss in May. I’m just very hurt, very tired and very stressed.

  • CH2

    Just a little comment: you don’t HAVE to do any of that. It’s OK to be home. I think our culture glorifies busy-ness. Most people won’t be professional gymnasts/parkourists/baseball stars. Everyone fills up their schedules but you don’t HAVE to. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself 🙂

  • http://agracefilledheart.wordpress.com erin

    I’m feeling overwhelmed. My husband (who is amazing) has been working a ton and I’ve been alone with our five kidlets (ages 7 to 13 months) for a few days…when he is here, he is super helpful, but it is wearing on me. Combine that with a mom who doesn’t always respect boundaries or me as a mother and hormones from PMSing and you have an Erin who is a hot mess. But, I am also okay. The Lord is gracious and merciful and uses these times to speak truth into my soul of who I really am.

  • Amy ‘Synstelien’ Garvin

    I am okay today. I’m feeling a bit anxious and overwhelmed about some new seasons that my marriage and family are entering. I need to pray more. I feel a little stressed about money and about gearing up to homeschool again this year. I really should pray more. Because the thing is, I fully realize that God will totally show up whether or not I ask Him to, but I want to be so aware of it in a way I can only look be when I’m actually talking to Him. Also I feel covetous about that shirt.

  • Emily Strube

    I am trying not to be overwhelmed. My husband and one year old daughter are moving overseas in two weeks, and I’ve got so much packing to do. Not to mention a family wedding before that, and dealing with pain all over (probably due to anxiety). But I’m also okay, trusting God goes with us and before us in this step of us being obedient.

  • http://www.aslowerpath.com Jeniffer Smith

    I’m not okay. For over a year, my husband and I have been working through some bruises and scars from lifelong ministry ties, and it’s brutal. We’ve been out of our usual roles of leadership and dealing with the ruins of manipulation and corrupt leadership in our lives. On top of raising and disciplining 3 girls under 6 and moving to a new city. It’s hard, but I know God is working in this huge mess.

  • Allison Stephens

    I am overwhelmed trying to stay on top of everything with my house and personal life. I suffer from anxiety and depression and self doubt. So I fight feeling like I want to run away and putting my self down every day. I worry about the fact I never see my husband, that we don’t just sit and talk. I miss my mom and wish I had her to enjoy life with and have her enjoy my kids. I also struggle with the fact that I am not good enough at being a mom. That all I want is to be just okay, but struggle with the fact that I want to be perfect. I saw you at the conference with Sally Clarkson, and have treasured that moment. Thank you for changing lives and my life specificially!

  • mary

    Well, I’m ok, I’m happy, the happiest I’ve ever been but I’m struggling with the idea that my son is happier and more productive in my moms care. It is a better school zone and they communicate the same way. She follows my rules and boundaries and he’s right down the road but its the big question of am I better mother for admitting he’s better off there or am I just giving up.
    Im scared a little bit that I convinced my partner to move faster than normal and he feels backed in a corner now that I’m making less money. We spend everyday together and we have times of great intimacy and moments of distance. I’m okay just a little lost, happy and awake at night.

  • Jessica Antonucci

    Struggling with health stuff, my grandma is on her death bed, trying to figure out how to set and enforce boundaries, but also enjoying the sunshine and my 5 kiddos!

  • Rachel

    I’m tired. Tired of constantly fighting my own bad attitude and the feeling that I am failing, always failing. As a wife, mom, homeschooling parent, house keeper, etc. just, tired.

    • mary

      You are amazing and still growing, make sure you ask for what you need as a woman, a mother and a partner; you deserve it

  • Hannah Guillory

    Disappointed with several friends who don’t understand that their blind allegiance to a political party is a slap in the face to minorities like me, so grateful we don’t live where we used to anymore (surrounded by bigoted people where I would regularly hear disparaging remarks about anyone not-white), thankful for new friendships where we are now, thankful for the gift and privilege of partnering with Jesus in growing new life in my womb, ever-grateful to Jesus for covering my imperfections with his holy and perfect grace, praying for my heart to remain soft and not grow bitter

  • Jenny Hoover

    Hi Sarah! I miss seeing your face and hearing your stories 🙂 Today, I am feeling pretty good. My health and spirits are up and I’m feeling strong physically. I’m grateful for life. But, sometimes, like today as I mowed for 2.5 hours, I think of people in my past and I get a little sad. Sad that life wasn’t better for them, for me, and isn’t going so well. Then I pray so much. Mowing is awesome. Then I talk to my mom on the phone and that’s hard. I tell God I know He has a plan in all the hard. So yeah, mostly great, mixed with a little “life’s a stinker, but God is good”.

  • Sheila

    I am struggling to move toward my husband in love, when he continues to be distant and walled up and bury himself in alcohol. I want to love like Jesus, but that is hard to do when you want to quit, or run away, or build your own walls, or all of the above!! Today was good and bad and exhausting! We have seven kiddos 3-14yo. When I want to grumble I force myself to sing Jesus, Jesus how I trust you, how I proved you ore and ore!

  • Mandy Fiser

    Hi Sarah! I’m a 36 year old mom of two who has been dependent on a pacemaker since I was 18. Today I’m three days post-op from my third pacemaker generator (batter) change and I’m very sore, but thankful. I’m sitting here looking at the two most precious gifts from God, my daughter & son and I am thankful for the technology that has made it possible for me to give birth to them and keep up with them! I feel an abundance of gratitude to our great God!

  • Kathy J. McNiel

    Hi! I’m totally missing my kiddos, who are at Camp Grandma for 2 weeks. On the other hand, part of me is enjoying the peace & quiet… I SHOULD be cleaning the house and getting ready for the homeschool year, but my heart just isn’t in either of those activities. I’ve been sort of working on the diet & exercise part of taking care of myself, but that’s kinda half-hearted as well. I just feel a bit tired & blah & not really interested in much of anything. “Okay” is a good work for how I’m doing: I’m keeping it generally going, but momentum is not really working for me. I know I need to get off my behind and get stuff done, so then the guilt kicks in and I feel even worse. Ugh. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m going to go clean up dinner now…

  • Denise Hensarling

    I’m all the above!

  • Stephanie Lena Nichols

    Today was good day. My (very dear to me) grandpa stopped through my town on his way to see my mom who lives 1100 miles away from me. He sat and watched my babies play and we visited about how life was going and he asked if I was happy living so far from the rest of my family. I gave him the easy answer “yes, I’m happy” which wasn’t really a lie but it wasn’t the truth either. You see, last Summer we (my husband, myself and three kids) picked up our life and moved from New Mexico to Missouri because my husband took a youth pastor position in a very small but sweet town. This last year has seen much happiness but it has also seen a lot of strain. Some days I wake up lonelier than I’ve ever been and I have to fight against bitterness and resentment of how often I’m on my own. Some days I catch myself punishing my husband because he can’t fill all of the holes created by moving from my job, my friends and my family. Some days I cry out to God to help me be a mother instead of a mess. Now I seek Him harder than I ever did before, because when I don’t I feel as though I’m drowning in my failure. My relationship with Him has changed the most, He has helped me understand how to lean on Him. The days that I cleave to Him and His Word are the best days. The days that I am the best mom, the best wife, the best helper for His kingdom that I can be. I miss my family and God knows how deeply and so He blesses me with little moments like an afternoon with a beloved grandfather who holds my hand and tells me I’m doing a fine job with my family and that he feels the love in my home. That he is proud of me and that he prays for me. I tell him “yes, I’m happy” and somehow God fills in the rest for me and I get exactly what I need. Today was absolutely the best day.

  • Netty Murray Deemer

    I’m tired. It has been a long couple of days. My two year olds were cranky this week. It made for a loooooooooong week.

  • Megan Mattinson

    I’m sick and trying not to despair at the mountain of things I don’t have energy to do. But it is just a cold and hopefully it won’t be too much longer.

  • Stephanie Carter

    Feeling overwhelmed. . . not ready, organized, to begin school, rooms that didn’t get finished this summer (cleaning out), clutter that hasn’t been decluttered – though we did get rid of a fair amount of toys! Always financial “worries”, though I try to leave them all at the foot of the cross. Thank you for this post.

  • Sarah Henderson

    Today, I am okay. I am tired because mothering three small children is, well…everyone here knows…demanding. I am thankful for a friend who said I could drop my kids off at her house Thursday so I could get some things ‘done.’ Instead, I walked into her house on the verge of tears with fears of the unknowns in the near future and she listened, as we have for each other over the past 6 years, as we peeled and cut and cooked a huge box of tomatoes down to marinara sauce while our kids entertained each other. When you realize what a gift that kind of friendship is and how hard it is to find those soul sister friends, there’s a mix of deep gratitude to the Lord and deep sadness thinking you may not live near each other forever.

  • Kelly

    Haha! I love it! I’m also pretty honest when people ask me how I’m doing. I don’t like telling lies, you know….so I say something like “it’s been a hard year, but God brought me through”, or “I’m doing alright, but today is hard”….or whatever is true but shorter. We’ve been having a good summer, but today grief hit me really hard. I have 6 kids. One is in heaven with Jesus, and two have some mild disabilities. I just wonder if I am enough for them, you know? If they are going to be okay with this mom who is limited sometimes. It’s very hard, moving to a new place, no supports and trying to find where you belong all while parenting and encouraging little kids and helping you husband too. I just love how honest you are, Sarah. You and I are good friends, you just don’t know me! Hugs.

  • Melodie

    Today i feel sad. My son is grieving and is too young to understand it. I can’t help but grieve with him yet want to wipe away all his pain.
    I often feel lonely. I want girlfriends. Authentic friendships.

  • Ccrec

    In this season of life the days are hard – two under two is exhausting (15 months and 6 weeks). And it’s even harder for my husband. Realizing that it’s just hard and challenging and the peaceful moments are few and far between. Trying to enjoy my babies and not go crazy 😉

  • Stacie Pinkston

    Thank you for this! I know some of how you feel. I lost my dad 3 days before last Thanksgiving. I am ok, but I still have those days where I feel like it happened yesterday. I have burst into tears many times over a picture, song, or thought. God is guiding me to do great things. Some days they include a few tears.

  • Laura

    Tired!

  • katie

    I’m doing…. Okay!

  • Jacky Dewar

    I’m sad and lonely. I desparately want a Godly friend to talk to but it seems like everyone is always too busy with their own lives to get involved with someone else’s.

  • April

    I feel that same darkness come out of nowhere every now and then too, but then it’s gone and I’m okay;-) Trying to be joyful and at peace and okay with who I am as a mom, wife, friend etc. despite being at home and homeschooling 3 kiddos is tough sometimes but it really forces me to focus on WHO my foundation is and where my strength comes from! Thanks for sharing your heart!

  • Katrina

    I was literally thinking the same thought yesterday. No one REALLY tells anyone how they’re really doing. I love to read your refreshing and real posts. I’m sorry that you’re grieving your mother but I’m happy that you can do that in a real way. Life is hard, especially with little ones running around and the expectation that we should all be perfect moms. I think the okayest moms are the perfect moms. Oh, I’m doing pretty good, sometimes not so good, but thanks for asking.

  • Kelly

    I’m exhausted. 8 weeks pregnant with super surprise baby #5. I’m tired and nauseous. I’m supposed to start homeschooling my other four kids next week, but some days I can’t get off the couch. Thanks for this post. So real. I really am happy. Just really exhausted and tired of vomiting. 😉

  • MelissaB

    I’m okay! Anxiety surprises me at times, and some moments seem heavy, but overall “it is well with my soul!”

  • Becky

    Though I’m better than I was, I am angry and sleep deprived. I am frustrated with my almost 8-month-old who still has yet to sleep through the night. It’s a struggle to just survive some days between him and my 2 year old. I love my kids, but this is definitely the most exhausting job ever.

  • Kelly

    I am mostly okay. But a person that I know God has put into my life (she became my best friend. ..haven’t had one in a long time) is moving away. We homeschool together, our kids are the same age (even their birthdays are close), when I am weak she is there. And now, she will not be as close. I want what is best for them and what they feel God is calling them to do but I am still very sad and I don’t understand why? I know God has a master plan for our lives so I must remember that. Thank you for this blog. Really hit home at the right time! 🙂

  • Cherie M

    Wow! I was blown away the other day when I read your testimony about your Mom and the time you spent with her….I can relate….and I love this post about How are you? Do they really want to know? I’m still dealing with the grief over my Dad’s passing a little over a year ago, still have a weird bug phobia (now that’s a major distraction) and among other things I was just threatened by a man with a gun trying to hijack me and my precious kids in my car as I was getting our mail. (There, I said it!) Otherwise than that, I’m doing okay, hanging in there and full of gratitude that God has given me another day. I love your transparency and your blog. Thank you for encouraging us to keep it real!
    Cherie M

  • Danielle Smith

    I’m Ok, how are you? Life IS painful….and weird….and frustrating….and wonderful. Yesterday was tough, and depression kept me in a pretty rough mood, I didn’t seem to have patience for anyone or anything. Today is better though 🙂

  • Stephanie

    Thank you for your transparency. I could say a lot of the same things you said about life. Wanting more intimacy and feeling like a failure seem to be commen threads in us as women. Opening up this door for honest responses is awesome. I read through the comments and my heart was sad, sad for the loneliness and hurt I read and how it resonates in my own heart. At the same time I felt encouraged to press in. As women we have deep needs and our relationships that are open and honest can fight a lot of those hard and scary things we face. Praying encouragement and peace for each one of us today and the grace to be okay being okay.

  • http://bernardonfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/ Leslie Bernardon

    Bless you, sweet mama. Life really is okay and not okay and weird and oh, so beautiful. Today, I feel blessed by this life that God has given me, but I also feel like my kids don’t get enough of my attention and affection and I’m determined to work on that. All in all, I feel hopeful.

  • Courtney

    I needed this today! Lately I’ve been struggling. I almost hate to admit that, because really, I’m blessed. We have everything we need and then luxuries we don’t need but are nice to have. Everyone is healthy. Life is good, but it’s also a bit messy. I feel guilty complaining, but… there are things in my life that feel so heavy right now. It’s nice to have a place here in the comments to say “I’m okay, but at the same time, I’m not.”

  • AmyMomof4

    Considering how sleep deprived I am from life with a baby, and the fact I had to deal with a meltdown from a 5-year old at church today, I’m doing pretty well. I have so much to be thankful for, even in the midst of exhaustion. Thanks for asking!

  • Martha Seger

    100% feeling this! Okay, but not ok! Have 5 kids, 4 of them are between ages of 10 months and 3 years. So, blessed but weary; surrounded by little humans but incredibly lonely. Ok, but not ok!

    • Sarah Sue

      I understand ok but not OK. Lonely here without the kids. Gentle hugs

  • Spiffy Marie

    I’m okay. I’m on the verge of giving up. All I want to do is cry and yell. But, I’m okay. God is in control!

    • Sarah Sue

      Yes he is. Don’t give up. Gentle hugs

  • Jenna Anderson

    I’m okay. Always feeling overwhelmed with 5 kids (and recovering from a surprise pregnancy and then miscarriage). Lonely after moving a year ago, and not making a close friend yet.

    • Sarah Sue

      Lonely from not having any kids around to love. No friends here either. Gentle hugs

  • Sarah Sue

    I am om. Just not OK. Not happy. Nor am I really sad , so that is an improvement over last year.
    My health is better. No lupus flair at this moment.
    I have a house that needs some TLC and I am still in my nightshirt on the couch.
    Wanting / needing to connect with someone….
    Normal.

    • Stephanie Lena Nichols

      I understand the need to connect with someone. I have had many moments this past year where I felt completely disconnected from the world. It can be pretty lonely. You aren’t alone though… God wants you to know that He is always there and He cares. I believe that He has a very special friendship in mind for you so keep on the look out. <3

  • L. Peoples

    Doing ok today. Laid some of my doubts out to my husband today which helped. I still have bad days but they are becoming fewer.

  • Hannah Kelley

    I’m just okay…struggling to like my kids. I love them but motherhood is not what I thought it would be and I have been fighting with it for 7 years, with good moments here and there

  • Angie Wachendorf

    Restless…and yet tired. Seeking balance and insight.

  • Kim

    I feel depleted. I love my family and feel incredibly blessed, but I’m an introvert, so I need alone time to recharge. Unfortunately, the only alone time I’ve gotten lately that doesn’t involve chores or errands (many of which still include at least one child) is when everyone else is asleep…and I should be too! However, I’m doing much better than I was at the beginning of the year, so I have hope!

  • Julie Tri

    Yes, I am ok; life is weird, painful and confusing. Thankfully there are moments of peace, clarity and beauty. Enough to keep me moving forward on my journey and enough confusion to keep me dependent on God.

  • Kim Blanchard

    I love this! There are things I am incredibly grateful for and I can see how God has blessed me richly. But there are things that are happening that really challenge my ability to parent. Today I really feel like just the “okayest” mom, but I was encouraged by this post that maybe that is okay 🙂

  • Sarah

    Love this post because that’s exactly how I feel…I want to say all that brutally honest stuff when someone says “How are you?” but always hold back and say, “I’m good.” Being a single mom to three I constantly worry about my kids, am I doing the right thing, giving them enough of me, teaching them enough about Jesus, etc. I LOVE that shirt, my sentiments exactly! haha

  • kaye

    thanks so much for being an honest, open-hearted woman! today, i am doing pretty good today, thanks be the Spirit helping me and pouring on grace in the midst of my weaknesses. im a sahm with 3 boys under 6years old, so its a ‘normal’ messy, rowdy, tiring day around these parts, but rest time is upon me and im listening to an uplifting podcast while folding laundry and sipping tea. round 2 will begin soon as the littles get up and we will all be eager for their dad to get home from work tonight!! to make today a little more challenging though, the toddler has teething related loose bowels and ive been busy changing diapers, outfits, disenfecting toys and the scrubbing the floors from leaks. yummy. 😉

  • Sarah Wiley

    A little tired and overwhelmed! Thank you for giving us a place to be real about that!

  • Lydia Jones

    Thank you for being so candid. You opening up makes me wish I could have you over for coffee! I am okay but not good. Life has changed so much for me and my family the last five months. My marriage is strained and I feel so empty. I am nursing a newborn and planning to start homeschooling my preschooler. We moved to a new state right before we had our second child and have found no support here. But things are starting to look up. I know in my heart that God brought us here for a purpose (I thought I knew why but I’m beginning to suspect his reasons have not yet been revealed). I know he is with me in my loneliness and when I feel like the world’s not okayest mom. I have such a desire (that only comes from Him) to pour into my children and reach them about God. But my energy doesn’t match up right now. I have to rely on him for everyday strength.

  • EmG

    I love love love your writing, your emotions, your realness, your up and down life. You bring a sense of okayness to my life, my thoughts, my emotions, etc. I know that God is with me and loves me and desires me to draw near to Him and rely on Him and His grace, mercy, and peace. But knowing other people on this earth are right where I am, helps a great deal. It makes me feel like I really am okay. I really want a “WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM” tshirt! What a conversation starter this would make! I love it!!!

  • Cassie

    Loved your post. I’m doing okay today. I don’t feel God telling me to save the world. He’s helping me understand that He’s bigger than the organic chicken I can’t afford to feed to my family. He’s also going to provide for my family when the salary cut hits my hubby’s paycheck in a month. He’s also going to cover my kids in grace when they realize they need therapy in 30 years. Oh, well. No one really wants to hear all that so that’s why I try to just tell God my troubles. But thanks for the venting session. Great post.

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