I'm sorry you have a crazy mother but I love you - Sarah Mae
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I’m sorry you have a crazy mother but I love you

You might think this post is about my mom, but you would be wrong. It’s about me.

Yes, I am the crazy mother, and not in the cool way, like, “CRAZY MOTHA”. More like, “Hey kids, sorry I’ve been kind of jerky and emotional and I told you I AM SO OVER THE NEIGHBOR KIDS and I argued with your dad about Hillary Clinton and Ryan Lochte and…I’m sorry you have a crazy mother but I love you” kind of way.

I love our neighbor kids.

I do.

Most of the time.

98% of the time.

87%.

WHY CAN’T I JUST HAVE SOME LAND LORD?! MOVE ME TO THE FARM.

But for real.

The morning started so hopeful. I was up before my kids, I lit a candle, put on some music, had some coffee, got into my BIBLE, and then…they got up early. And wanted cuddles. And I LOVE CUDDLES. But I know that once they’re up, it’s mom-time. All day, every day. It’s good. It’s fine. But sometimes, by 4pm, my husband gets messages like this:

texttojesse

I homeschool, for those of you who don’t know, and so when I say I need a babysitter for rest of the summer it’s because I’m with my kiddos 24/7 All.Year.Long. Which is mostly fine because I really like my kids. But, you know, sometimes I feel like I’m sending out an SOS.

Then I take a deep breath.

I remember: “Thou wilt keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.” (Isaiah 26:3)

And this: “For He Himself is our peace.” (Ephesians 2:14)

My peace doesn’t come from less noise.

It doesn’t come from perfect kids (mine or the neighborhood ones).

I can’t find in a good Netflix binge (Stranger Things, anyone?) or on Instagram (see what I did there)

It doesn’t come from a clean home (although, Lord please send me a maid).

I can’t even get it if I get away for awhile. I can get relief, but not peace.

Deep, true, soul-desperate peace will only come from Jesus. And oh man do I need Him on the crazy days. I need Him always, but the days where I want to kick everyone out of the house only to realize the neighborhood kids start talking about who likes and who and someone hurts someone else and I’M GOING TO LOSE MY EVER LOVING MIND…this is when I need Him.

I need Him.

I need Him.

I need Him.

Thou wilt keep in perfect peace who mind is stayed on thee.

He is our peace.

He is my peace. He is enough.

Always.

And it’s the same for the big painful things in the world or the big emotions in our small personal world, He is our peace.

So when the anxiety crawls through my body, tingling down my arms and laying heavy in my neck…

When I feel stuck or crazy…

I remember, Thou wilt keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.

SM

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  • Lynn

    Oh my word girlfriend…I feel your pain. 365 days out of the year. For this introvert, it’s a killer to spend every waking minute with my kids. I love them dearly I really do, and Oreos do help on certain days, but homeschooling is both draining and rewarding. Some days it’s more draining than rewarding. I’m currently locked in my bathroom just to escape the noise for a moment while I just breathe….by myself. I’m hoping there’s a really big crown for homeschoolers when I get to heaven. 😉

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I’m pretty certain I’ve become an introvert since having children! And ALL THE AMENS for Oreos. Keep on sister!

  • Elizabeth

    Thank you from a momma of 6!!

  • Crystal E

    Did you seriously come hijack my brain?? Cause this was my day yesterday! Except we do live on a farm and I don’t have the stress of neighborhood kids, just my own!! And trust me being on a farm is great but sometimes a playmate closer than 30 minutes away would be great!! Thank you for being so real and honest!! Your words spoke right to the heart of this homeschooling mama of 3!!

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      I did. It’s my spiritual gift, hijacking brains. 🙂

  • Melissa Miller Perkins

    Preach it sister! This has been me the last month. Sadly, my man comes home and he is no help. He works at church, our church, and his team and mission are under spiritual attack. I still need to buy some of our curriculum and … and… and…

    It is a comfort to know I am not the only one. Praying for all of you.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      So much love to you. Hard stuff.

  • Joanna Branson

    This post is so very spot-on for me this week! Thank you Sarah, for helping me feel much less lonely in my crazy. I read it out loud to my husband and he laughed out loud (yes, he has received the same kind of messages mid-afternoon…) even my daughter smiled. I think she felt better knowing she’s not the only one with the crazy, ever-loving mother. And the heart of the message was just the reminder I needed during this, our first week back in school.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Keep on friend! First week back – YOU GOT THIS!

  • Marilee

    Thank you for being so real!

  • http://Evawright.net EvaBohemia

    Ahhh, Me too girlfriend- Me too! What a long year it has been so far.

    • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

      Hang in there mama!

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