Category Archives: Life & Faith
I didn’t sleep through the night for seven years.
Those were the years of babies and toddlers and someone at some point was always awake or needed something or had a bad dream or threw up. This was life.
When my children got a bit older, a miracle happened: they all started sleeping through the night AND they started sleeping in (HANG IN THERE MOMS OF LITTLE ONES!). Which meant, I got to sleep through the night and I got to sleep in. You better believe I made up for those seven years by enjoying that sleep in time (and by sleep in, I mean 7:30/8:30-ish).
Those seven years I was in a fog. I was used to the fog though, so it wasn’t terrible, I was just tired all the time. I went to the doctor once to tell him I thought something was wrong with me because I was always so exhausted, and after a few questions he asked like, “How old are your kids? Are you still getting up in the middle of the night?” Etc., it was obvious that I was actually just tired from mothering.
Me in 2009 with a baby and two toddlers
After some good sleep-ins, I decided I wanted to be that person that got up early, spent time with Lord, and got stuff done before my kids got up. At one point last Spring I even started getting up around 4:30am to go workout. I always believed there was something special about getting up while it was still dark and enjoying some quite hours to myself; there is something peaceful about it. Plus, there are so many books on how getting up early is what all the successful people do. HUSTLE, they say. JUST DO IT, they say. YOU’LL GET SO MUCH MORE DONE, they say. So I did. I worked on getting up early. In fact, I spent 6 months getting up around 6am as a life experiment. I’m glad I did it. But you know what I learned?
I’m more tired when I get up early. I don’t get more done. I always need a nap.
Turns out, I function better when I sleep in a little bit. I’m happier. I don’t need a nap. I’m not exhausted all day. And? I’m more successful when I don’t get up early.
And here’s what I know about success:
Success for me is not feeling crummy and tired all day. It’s being kind. It’s doing the things I want to get done during my day, whether that’s writing or cleaning or visiting a friend or homeschooling my kiddos well and without being cranky. When I get up early, life is a foggy mess. I’m cranky, I’m tired, I get less done (because I’m cranky and tired), and I’m not the kindest person. And it doesn’t matter if I go to bed earlier. Speaking of which, my husband HATES when I go to bed early. He likes to stay up and he wants me to stay up with him. If I stay up, I definitely can’t get up early. I know this about myself. My husband has the amazing super-natural ability to stay up late and get up early. I do not have that super power.
ALL TO SAY… it’s okay to not be a ninja 5am-er. Maybe you’re a ninja 9am-er, or 10pm-er, or never because you’re just so tired and so WHATEVER. No ninja. That’s okay too.
The point is, don’t think you have to get up early to be successful. Everyone is different! God made it so. Embrace who you are, do what you gotta do, define success, and then? Onward!
P.S. I’m over at The Better Mom today talking about how I no longer want to be a “good” homemaker. Check it out HERE.
Today I got a Christmas card from my mom.
You don’t know how significant that is.
I know, it sounds so normal to get a card, right? But for me, it’s not normal. Normal for me has been having a mom who didn’t know how to be a mom. Her wounds clouded her ability to parent; her heartache led her to alcohol, and alcohol led to the near destruction of her mind, her liver, and our relationship.
Also, she should be dead.
Read the rest over at (in)courage today.
Today has been what I will call a “heart-brain divide” day. It’s one of those days where my heart wants to clean and bake and homeschool well and be an awesome mom, but my brain wants to work and be creative and not have to think about being responsible for my kiddos. Oh man, I cringe just writing how I’m feeling, but it’s true and honest and it is what it is. I love my kiddos and I have absolute peace about homeschooling, but the truth is, it’s hard. It’s a worth it, good kind of hard, but you know, there isn’t much time left over for me to give my brain the space it wants (needs?) to do its creative thing. And I’m okay with this, with my choice, most days. But some days, like today, it’s a struggle. So here’s what I’m going to do:
I’m going to give myself a pep talk and you all are invited in to listen in. Here we go.
How to Handle The Heart-Brain Divide Days
Make Sure To Fill Your Soul
I called my husband up and shared with him ALL the feelings. He told me that this is how God made me and that it’s important for me to make space for creative pursuits or I will shrivel up and be miserable. I have fought him on this: “No, I’m good, I just want to clean my house and be with the kiddos and bake stuff.” And he’s all, “I know you. You’ll see. You need to be doing creative things.” He knows me so well. And thank God he cares for me enough to help me make take the time to create and work.
All to say, CHIN UP! Listen to your man. He wants you to take care of the kiddos and the home AND fill your soul. Be wise. Fill up. You’ll be a better mom…a better person…if you take the time to create.
These Days Will Pass
These days of heart-brain divide, they will pass. They are a rhythm. Tomorrow I will wake up and get on with it. I’ll get on with taking care of my people, my home, and myself. One step at a time, slow and steady. Grace will cover this day, my faults, my junk, and all the rest. And what’s more, these days of raising and teaching my kiddos will pass as well, and it will go faster than I want it to go. So I’ll remember that and remember that this is a season and giving myself to the season is good and beautiful and I’ll never regret it.
Fill the soul, but remember the season.
We Are Loved Anyway
Thank God He does not love us based on our bad days. Or our good days, for that matter. I am loved, I am enough, I am going to make it.
He knows all of my failures and He loves me anyway.
Yes and amen.
Love and happy hearts and brains,
Well, I finally decided to give Periscope a go. And…
It was so fun! What a treat to be able to talk to you all live where you can ask questions and interact and it’s all FREE! Oh technology, you are such a gift. Anyway, my first go round was a miss. My video replay didn’t work (there was no volume and I was sideways), so I did an encore of my first little talk and the replay worked! Yay! You can watch below!
5 Ways to Bring Relief To Your Weary Bones
With my dear Sally, not being profound, but being profoundly silly!
Oh my goodness.
Sally just dropped some mad wisdom on me today and I wanted to share it with all of you out there who have small children or homeschool or have limited time and brain capacity in this season.
You have your whole lifetime to be profound. (tweet that)
Let me give you the context.
I was talking to Sally on the phone about edits and book writing and I was lamenting to her that I just feel like I don’t have the time for real depth. She told me that you can’t give yourself well when you give to too many things, and to let my season be what it is. “You have your whole life to be profound.”
And there it is, the words I didn’t know I needed to hear. It’s okay that I can’t give myself to deep, profound book writing/editing right now, I just don’t have the time or capacity. I’m not lazy or crazy or anything else, I’m just occupied.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that in case any of you needed to hear it.
Love to you today, SM
P.S. Sally has a new podcast called At Home with Sally! You can check it out here!