The Faith Dance - SarahMae.com

There are two ways to lose your life.

You can lose your life by doing too much, draining out, and then missing out on the fullness of life, or you can lose your life by choosing the selflessness of the cross in order to invest in the eternal.

I’m losing my life in the wrong kind of way, and I’m tired. I’m bored, and selfish, and I forget what it feels like to enjoy my children. I thought I was back in the groove, but it’s the wrong groove. I remember before I started I blogging, I was a pretty good mama. Granted, I only had two at the time, but I really invested in them, and my home, and my husband. I was excited to teach them, and be with them, and cultivate their souls. And now, I’m shallow. I’m overwhelmed with the responsibility of teaching and training my sweet ones, meeting my husbands needs, and making a home. I rely too much on the internet for a source of escape when my children don’t listen, or they fight, or they want too much of me. They don’t even have enough of me. I can’t live like this; I don’t want to wake up in 15 years and regret my life.

I need to live.

I want to keep my life by losing it for the eternal.

I’m not going to be online in November, because I’m out of control. I’m going to spend my days re-learning how to enjoy my family, make a home, reading in the evenings to my children, baking with my babes, doing Thanksgiving crafts, getting out into the community, having coffee with my in-the-flesh friends, and living. I want to live fully alive for the glory of God. I want the eternal in my home. I want to win my kids hearts. I want to love my man well.

And for whatever reason, I can’t seem to do those things and blog.

I’ve been living in the tension for too long. You all have seen it, I’m so back and forth. I’m sorry for that.

So it is.

See you in December. Maybe.

Resources:

My Allume keynote – Keep Your Life

Leaving The 99 For My One

The Ultimate List of Thanksgiving Freebies & Resources

Thanksgiving Your Way eBook (free)

Thanksgiving Beads

Thanksgiving Tree

Side-note:

My book, Desperate – Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, comes out January 8th. The book site is up so if you get a chance, check it out. More will be added to it in the coming weeks.

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Here is an excerpt from my (in)courage post today:

The secrets that haunt us at night as we’re falling asleep. When we keep it in the dark, it’s power over us grows. But when we expose it to the light, and we let people into our ugly, and we trust people (even when it aches), sin loses it’s power. We let people love us. Grace-light banishes the dark.

And we can be free.

I want that kind of freedom with friends, with community.

So here’s a secret, my friends, my community…

Read the whole article here.

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“Emerging is when you use a platform to come into your own. Merging is when you sacrifice who you are to become part of something else.” -Seth Godin, Merging/Emerging

I’ve been emerging lately, and you’ve been along for the ride.

This space has been a place where I stretch into the new creation God is weaving in me. It is a space where I don’t claim to have figured “it” out, but where I trust Jesus to lead me into a vulnerable place where I can process life and offer grace into the hearts of those who need it (’cause Lord knows I do, every minute of every day).

As I emerge, I recognize the temptation to merge…to sacrifice the nuances of my soul in order to appear put together or doctrinely on point. I am a flawed soul who loves and desperately needs Jesus. And I think needing Him and following Him are enough. It’s what I have…it’s myself (and He chose me!).

The rough edges in my soul are just a part of this gal’s journey towards her creator.

And you know, I really like the idiosyncrasy’s in a soul. I love when I catch a glimpse of why someone needs Jesus because it reminds me that we all are just tiny. We are small, but significant; messy, but beautiful.

Trust me, that woman that looks like she’s on top of her game, she isn’t. She needs Jesus.

And trust me, that woman who looks like she’s a mess, she is. She needs Jesus.

Don’t merge to be like anyone other than Jesus. Don’t sacrifice your tangled, beautiful, starving soul for anyone…but Jesus. He will make you more beautiful than anyone else ever could…He makes you perfect.

So be perfect, in Him, today. Be you.

…

I read this post this morning from Like a Warm Cup of Coffee (I wrote it about a year ago, I think) and it resonated with me still, so I thought I’d bring it here.

Photo: Used with Permission

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“Christianity is the gospel of the failed, of the ungodly, the unable, the unwilling, who simply woke up one day invited to God’s house and went. Period.” John Lynch

A wind has been blowing through my world.

The Spirit, His Spirit, the One wrapped up with mine has been been shaking things up in my heart this week. He has been wooing me back to the heart of the gospel, the heart of what it means to be a Christian.

When He first wooed me I was a little girl. Tucked under covers and teddy bear under my arm, I asked “God” to find my sister. She had been taken by her father, so the story went, and my mom didn’t know where she was.

Read the rest at (in)courage today.

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I am void for words.

For substance.

I feel like I have so much to say, but I can’t articulate anything.

Even though God is revealing me and maturing me, it’s as though I can’t speak about it yet. I’m walled up, I’m stopped, and I’ve got nothing. I have a deep peace and I am in awe of God’s love for me, yet…

I’m plundered.

I’m going to listen for awhile, continue in the revealing, and write when the words come. That might be tomorrow or in a month. I’m not sure.

“I’ve come to believe that there are no together people. Only those who dress better than others.” Andy, Bo’s Cafe

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